Gossip

Worker bee: Does Anal Cunt have a MySpace page?

1500 Sansom Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: dmac

Worker #1: How was your weekend?
Worker #2: Good. I almost got married; the usual.

393 Broadway
New York, NY

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Lunching woman to another: So, Ellen*, what’re you gonna do about your cow’s undescended testicle?

Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Glynda

Sales guy: I went to a funeral once, and everyone there got a packet of the cremated remains.
Sales girl: That’s a nice parting gift!
Sales guy: Well, we were all supposed to disperse them somewhere. Mine sat on my mantle for about a month. Then I finally threw it away.
Sales girl: You sent the person to the dump?! So wrong! So wrong!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Coworker: My daughter tried on a pair of pants this weekend. She asked me if her butt looked too big, because if it didn’t, she needed a smaller size.

56 Haddon Avenue
Haddonfield, New Jersey

Overheard by: Jane

Two co-workers watch a woman showering in a window across the street.

Female co-worker: Is she dry showering?
Guy: No, there’s soap on her legs. Wow, those are America’s cleanest boobs.
Female co-worker: You can’t see soap from here.
Male co-worker: You can with the binoculars in my office.

Male co-worker runs to get the binoculars.

Female co-worker: Uh oh. She just cleaned somewhere funny.
Boss: What’s going on?… Ahh, a nudie with fake boobies! I love a good set of fake knockers!
Male co-worker: She has a scar on her butt.
Boss: I think that’s a tattoo.
Female co-worker: She should get that checked out.

225 North Michigan
Chicago, Illinois

Boss interrupting employees: What’s going on?
Girl employee in middle of conversation: Are you circumcised? [Boss turns and leaves, shaking his head.]

4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Amazed Colleague

Female coworker: I went out with friends last night.
Male coworker #1: That lie again?
Male coworker #2 butting in: I thought I was the only one who lied about having friends. We have so much in common!
Male coworker #1: So, what about your husband? He didn’t go out with you?
Female coworker: That wasn’t my husband. That was a male escort I hired to pretend to be my husband.
Male coworker #2 butting in: See? I don’t have a husband either! That was just a male escort I hired! We have so much in common.

Pause

Male coworker #1: Ok. You crossed a line with that one.

214 W 39th Street
New York, New York

Interviewee: My current girlfriend used to be a lesbian, but she’s straight now.

209 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California

Overheard by: Interviewer in another row

Big boss at farewell party for employee: I stopped drinking soda a long time ago because I want to stop consuming all those fake sugars.
Young employee: I stopped buying soda along time ago, too, so I can have more money for alcohol.

Broadway and Wall Street
New York, New York