Cube worker #1: I think I found the secret project.
Cube worker #2: Mine?
Cube worker #1: You have a secret project?
Cube worker #2: Uh, no.
390 North Robert Street
St. Paul, Minnesota
Cube worker #1: I think I found the secret project.
Cube worker #2: Mine?
Cube worker #1: You have a secret project?
Cube worker #2: Uh, no.
390 North Robert Street
St. Paul, Minnesota
German teacher: Well, we’re going to have to relocate to another classroom for a while. It seems there’s a rat problem in this one.
Student: Are you going to gas them?
Glenunga International High School
Adelaide, South Australia
Employee #1: Yeah, she didn’t have the info I need yet, so I’ll have to circumvent with her later.
Employee #2: Circumvent? Do you mean circle back?
Employee #1: Circle back? That doesn’t make any fucking sense. Why do I always take the blunt of your jokes?
1025 Eldorado Boulevard
Broomfield, Colorado
Coworker: I can’t get my thingy on my dilly to pull out so I can get the thing to put on my paper! Can someone help me?
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Helio
Engineer: Is your boss in? We have a problem — we have a little Aryan friend up on the second floor.
QA tech: No, he’s on vacation… Wait — we have what?
Engineer: A little Aryan friend flying around on the second floor.
QA tech: … Ohhh — ‘avian.’
Engineer: Yeah, what did I say?
Modesto, California
Overheard by: That’s not my job.
Teacher: What’s one-fifth of 15?
Class, in unison: Five!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: High school student, appalled
Cop: What’s your name?
Gangbanger: Huh?
Cop: Huh?
Gangbanger: Huh?
Cop: Huh?
Gangbanger: Huh?
Cop: Huh?
Gangbanger: Derrick Johnson*.
Cop: Where do you live?
Gangbanger: Huh?
Cop: Huh?
5200 W Madison Street
Chicago, Illinois
Office worker #1: Hey, here’s a great trip — 10 days in Italy and the Holy Land. Where’s the Holy Land?
Office worker #2: Use your head. Where do you think the Holy Land is?
Office worker #1: Venice?
155 Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: One Who Knows
Manager: Man, you guys from Alabama are hard-core putting someone getting the chair on the back of your quarter.
Boss from Alabama: That’s not someone getting the chair — that’s Helen Keller!
Manager: You guys electrocuted Helen Keller?!
Campus Point Drive
San Diego, California
Student studying energy, to another: Do you think this a controlled or uncontrolled nuclear erection?
International School of Milan
Milan
Itlay
