What? Glen Calls Them Hot All the Time.

Coworker #1, drinking with group: I’ve got two kids, a daughter and a son.
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah? I didn’t know that. Does Betty* have any kids?
Coworker #3: No. Glen* has kids, though.
Coworker #1: Who?
Coworker #3: You know, Glen — over there at the table across the room. He has two daughters. They came to the office a couple times. One’s about 12, and the other’s 15 or something like that.
Top executive: Yeah, and they’re pretty hot, too! [All three coworkers silent.] Uhhh… Healthy, I mean. Good kids.

Spirit of Seattle Argosy Cruise Ferry, Lake Union
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Why Can’t I Be Deaf?

Posted on February 29, 2008
Coworkers, Creepsters, Default, Family, Physical Appearance, Possible Sexual Harassment, Washington

For the Last Time, the University of Delaware Isn’t a Jail

Male officer: I’ve hit women before.
Female coworker: I bet you have.
Male officer: Prisoners. Like this one who tried to scratch me. I told her, ‘You’re not a cat, and I’m not a post. Now I’m gonna have to change your future.’

Newark, Delaware

Posted on February 26, 2008
Coworkers, Creepsters, Default, Delaware, Violence

I Was Promised That As a Condition of My Employment

Sales chick #1: So, if the sun dies, then we’re all dead?
Sales chick #2: Yup.
Sales chick #1: But what if we eat the people that die first?
Sales chick #2: We’d all die pretty soon anyway.
Sales chick #1: Oh… But I can still eat the dead people, right?

4606 Lankershim Boulevard
North Hollywood, California

Posted on January 31, 2008
Bimbettes, California, Coworkers, Creepsters, Death, Meals and Snacks, Sales

Scene from the Long-Awaited Sequel 65-Year-Old Virgin

Mail guy: Do you play soccer?
Office girl: No.
Mail guy: Oh, you look like a soccer player.
Office girl: Cool.
Mail guy: Do you like wet food or dry food?

Walnut Hill Lane and U.S. 75
Dallas, Texas

Posted on January 11, 2008
Creepsters, Questions, Texas

Why Goats Wear Makeup: Explained

Worker guy: I’d rather have sex with a goat wearing no makeup than a goat with makeup.

Empire State Building
New York, New York

Overheard by: The Professor

Posted on December 6, 2007
Creepsters, Gossip, New York

Since We Belt-Sanded Her

Creepster coworker: That leather is soft, like your mother’s skin.

Brush College Road
Decatur, Illinois

Overheard by: My mother’s softer than leather

Posted on November 16, 2007
Creepsters, Gossip, Illinois

Similar to Me

Office weirdo: Most people don’t realize that mermaids actually have sharp teeth — similar to a shark. They also eat fish… So they have really bad breath.

Washington, DC

Posted on September 21, 2007
Creepsters, Gossip, Washington DC

Creepsters