Cube dweller: You know, I thought I had stigmata once… Turns out I just had really dry skin.
Receptionist: Can I have my lotion back?
1 Tampa City Center
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: That little broad
Cube dweller: You know, I thought I had stigmata once… Turns out I just had really dry skin.
Receptionist: Can I have my lotion back?
1 Tampa City Center
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: That little broad
Waitress: I think I’m gaining weight.
Waiter: What makes you say that?
Waitress: I’ve put on 18 pounds since I started working here.
Waiter: Maybe you’re pregnant.
Waitress: It can’t be. You cannot get pregnant by the finger!
210 North 77 Sunshine Strip
Harlingen, Texas
Overheard by: Omar
Frustrated clerk to group of traders: Did you guys have retard sandwiches for lunch or something?
Smart-ass in back: I had a burrito.
Trading Desk
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Walking by…
Guy #1: I love the Jell-O here.
Guy #2: Yeah… Want to go take a shower?
Guy #3: Hell yeah, let’s go take a shower!
Guy #1: Alright, I’ll run to my room, drop off my stuff, and we can head over to take a shower.
Kinsolving dining room
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: HornFan
Woman #1: I dropped a condom back there.
Woman #2: They never clean.
Woman #1: Well, there’s a rat back there, that’s why I dropped it.
2000 Florida Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: animal lover
Blonde: So, have you taken any Lamaze or yoga classes to help with the birth?
Preggers: No, the thought of having to be around all those pregnant women made me sick.
Oakland, California
Coworker #1: Man, my digital camera broke. Now the sky turns pink and clouds appear green.
Coworker #2: Oh, really? That sucks.
Coworker #1: In the pictures, I mean.
Coworker #2: [Silence.]
19111 Pruneridge Avenue
Cupertino, California
Girl employee: Ouch.
Guy employee: Oh, sorry. Okay, it’s not going to work from the front, let’s try it from behind.
14225 Newbrook Drive
Chantilly, Virginia
Lady: Does your massage therapist work through knots well?
Guy: Yeah, and she even has this jackhammer apparatus to do your butt with.
400 West Capitol
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: Sounds Scary!
Coworker: I’m trying to open an email attachment and the virus software isn’t letting me because it says it has a virus. Can you come turn off the virus software so I can open it?
IT chick, shocked: No!
Fredericton, New Brunswick
Canadia
