Office grunt: Now if I say something tastes like shit, I’ll have a frame of reference.
Hyde Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: A.D.
Office grunt: Now if I say something tastes like shit, I’ll have a frame of reference.
Hyde Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: A.D.
Summer associate to managing partner: … And then my mom told my date, ‘The monkey can play in the trees, but not in the bush.’
Century City, California
Medical dispatcher giving CPR instructions: Now straddle his lips with your hips…
San Jose, California
Overheard by: firechick
Boss: The nice thing is, we’re no longer people who care!
202 West 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Suit on cell: So, my division is like an aborigine, and their division is like a rhinoceros.
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: Spittake
Coworker #1 on phone: No, no, I would never say anything to anyone about that.
Coworker #2, as other hangs up: About what?
Coworker #1: Don’t worry, you already know.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Doesn’t know
Boss lady: I just don’t think thong underwear is that attractive. I mean, maybe if you’re 12 years old and tight…
Assistant: I don’t think a 12-year-old in thong underwear is attractive.
Boss lady: Well, when you’re 12, you’re tight.
Burbank, California
Male peon: I didn’t want to grab your… area.
Sierra College Boulevard
Rocklin, California
Boss, about former employee: She smelled like my grandmother’s underwear drawer.
Underling: Do you spend a lot of time in your grandmother’s underwear drawer?
Boss: Well, she died a while ago…
1100 Hamilton Court
Menlo Park, California
Peon, reading: ‘The essence of client trust accounting is contained in these three words: Client, trust, accounting.’ Really? I would have thought more like, ‘Thermometer, Frankenstein, candle.’
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Jeffner
