Lawyer: No, no, men can’t touch women, but women can touch men.
Paralegal: Oh, okay. Didn’t know.
Lawyer: Yeah, but whatever.
Law office
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Pointless Temp
Lawyer: No, no, men can’t touch women, but women can touch men.
Paralegal: Oh, okay. Didn’t know.
Lawyer: Yeah, but whatever.
Law office
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Pointless Temp
CEO: Oh, that’s the guy with the gaggle of kids, right? The ugly ones.
Project coordinator: They’re not all ugly! The little one, Erica*, is cute!
CEO: She just hasn’t grown into her ugly yet.
Goderich, Ontario
Canadia
Boss: You know, every day it gets harder and harder to underestimate you.
Innovation Drive
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin
Big boss, after company-wide sales meeting: Are there any questions?
Employee #1: Yeah — how come all of a sudden the soda machine only gives back one quarter from a dollar?
Big boss: How much?
Employee #1: Just one quarter.
Big boss: Did it used to give more?
Employee #1: Yes, I used to get two back.
Employee #2: Soda is 75 cents.
Employee #1: I’ve been here for 13 years and it’s been the same — I always get two quarters back.
Employee #2: I’ve been here for two years and it’s been 75 cents for at least that long. Maybe the machine was broken.
Employee #1: No, it wasn’t broken!
Big boss: You have to stop now.
233 Spring Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: get me out of here
Boss lady: I just don’t think thong underwear is that attractive. I mean, maybe if you’re 12 years old and tight…
Assistant: I don’t think a 12-year-old in thong underwear is attractive.
Boss lady: Well, when you’re 12, you’re tight.
Burbank, California
Boss, about former employee: She smelled like my grandmother’s underwear drawer.
Underling: Do you spend a lot of time in your grandmother’s underwear drawer?
Boss: Well, she died a while ago…
1100 Hamilton Court
Menlo Park, California
Assistant: Keith*, Melanie’s* on the phone.
Keith: Who is that?
Assistant: Your wife.
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
Male hippie #1 standing at printer with no paper: Aren’t you supposed to be watching this? What do I pay you for?
Male hippie #2: To shave my legs and wear the skirt.
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: please no more
Suit: When Barry* is out, who should get this report?
Boss: Give it to Barry — he’s in.
Suit: When I asked Susan* I thought she said he wasn’t working today.
Boss: She’s absolutely right. But he is here today.
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Sales manager: Jack* didn’t show up to work today. He probably went to an interview at another company.
VP: Is this the guy with the shoes?
Sales manager: Yep.
VP: Any dude wearing white shoes and a white belt is somewhat suspect…
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Smiths
