Whiny girl: I don’t know why anyone won’t take me seriously!
Mentor: Well, Kimmy*, you’ve got to show some confidence.
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: Not Steffi
Teacher: Do you all know your Roman numerals?
Student: Yeah — aren’t them those noodles you eat?
Rosedale Street
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: MsTchr4678
Kid: I have to tell you something.
Teacher: Okay…
Kid: Sometimes when I fart, I get poop in my pants.
Teacher: I don’t need to know that.
Public school
Maryland
Psycho parent: Look, you’re not in his resource time, so he can’t get help from you then.
Teacher: Yes, well, I’m teaching another class, so I can’t be there.
Psycho parent: I know it’s not your fault, but don’t you feel like you should take some responsibility for that?
High school
Sterling, Virginia
Disgruntled boy: … And they put the birth control education flyer up on my locker! My locker! I’m pretty sure that violates–
Overeager Spanish teacher, popping up from behind desk: –Oh! Oh! My mother used to put condoms under my brother’s pillow! We all called her the ‘Birth Control Fairy’!
High school
Livingston, Montana
Overheard by: Finally appreciates the tooth fairy
Student: So, now we have an extra microscope. Could we return it and get credit from the company?
Professor: Let’s sell it on the black market and use the money for a really big party!
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Painting professor: I paint for people who look at art. Like, my mom will look at this and go, ‘Oh, I like the blue.’ And I don’t have to explain to my mother that this is actually about some weird sex thing I did.
Providence, Rhode Island
