Statistics professor: … Because honestly, I don’t even know what a box plot is.
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: student
Professor: So, you know how if you feed your sister-in-law’s kid a lot of sugar and caffeine, and he gets all crazy-like and runs around screaming? Well, that’s like exciting the molecule. And after a while, the excitement dies down, and he hits something. Like a wall. And if you’re lucky, he vomits. Fluorescence is the vomit of molecule excitation.
High Point University
High Point, North Carolina
Overheard by: This is what we’re teaching the leaders of tomorrow?
Teacher: Do you all know your Roman numerals?
Student: Yeah — aren’t them those noodles you eat?
Rosedale Street
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: MsTchr4678
Kid: I have to tell you something.
Teacher: Okay…
Kid: Sometimes when I fart, I get poop in my pants.
Teacher: I don’t need to know that.
Public school
Maryland
Psycho parent: Look, you’re not in his resource time, so he can’t get help from you then.
Teacher: Yes, well, I’m teaching another class, so I can’t be there.
Psycho parent: I know it’s not your fault, but don’t you feel like you should take some responsibility for that?
High school
Sterling, Virginia
Disgruntled boy: … And they put the birth control education flyer up on my locker! My locker! I’m pretty sure that violates–
Overeager Spanish teacher, popping up from behind desk: –Oh! Oh! My mother used to put condoms under my brother’s pillow! We all called her the ‘Birth Control Fairy’!
High school
Livingston, Montana
Overheard by: Finally appreciates the tooth fairy
