Cube dweller on phone: Stupid, beer-drinking cat.
Bedminster, New Jersey
Cube dweller on phone: Stupid, beer-drinking cat.
Bedminster, New Jersey
HR clerk on phone: Yes, it is true that flip-flops are prohibited by the company dress code… No, the addition of duct tape will not qualify flip-flops as closed-toe shoes.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Salesman on phone: Yes, I’m calling to speak to Stan*.
Guy answering phone: One moment, I’ll see if he’s in the office. [Muffled] Stan, there’s someone on the phone for you. What should I tell them?
Stan: No, tell them I’m not here.
Guy answering phone, to salesman: I’m sorry, sir, he must have stepped out. Hhe’s not in the shop.
Salesman: Are you kidding? I could hear you yell, ‘Stan, there’s someone on the phone for you,’ and then he yelled back, ‘Tell them I’m not here…’
Guy answering phone: Oh, sorry… Yeah, I should have muted it. Yeah, he’s actually in the shower right now and can’t get to the phone.
Salesman: … I’ll call back later.
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Andrew
Guy on phone: She’s not God, but she’s a good candidate.
7th Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Coworker on phone: You have to go East… How should I know? I don’t know East from West!
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Super Mike
College worker chick on cell: … And nachos, so they poured hot sauce on me. But I was wearing happy pants, so I threw them away.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: huh?
Pharmacy tech on phone: Thanks for calling ABC Pharmacy*… Yes, ma’am. Ma’am… Ma’am… Ma’am! Just speak your refill number to me — don’t punch it in your phone!
Braselton Highway
Dacula, Georgia
Overheard by: PharmDawg
Smart guy: I sent a copy of that e-mail out to the S&M guys, too.
Conference call audience: Okay, sounds good.
Progress Boulevard
Alachua, Florida
Overheard by: Cramped office-mate
Secretary on phone: No, I haven’t been well lately. I’ve had a bout of shingles all summer. From my breast bone to my hip, all down my right side… Shingles! No, shingles! Do you know what that is? It’s herpes! All down my right side!
1 Beacon Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Cube rat on phone: I saw the puppy on my lunch break… Yeah, now I have to go home and scrub the bathroom floor with my teeth.
Irving, Texas
