50-ish lady peon: Oh, honey, you don’t have to lift those boxes!
20-ish lady peon: No, it’s okay, I really don’t mind. They’re not very heavy.
50-ish lady peon: But that shows on a woman later in life!
20-ish lady peon: Shows? What do you mean?
50-ish lady peon: Well, you know, makes you big… Like the She-Hulk, or that hermaphrodite wrestler! You don’t want people thinking you’re not a woman, do you?
University of North Carolina, 208 Raleigh Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Lawyer on phone: Well, if you’re a girl, I must be the queen’s bimbo.
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Female worker: Something about his office seemed very home-like. I think he had a couch in it.
Male worker: It was a lamp.
Hillcroft Street
Houston, Texas
Secretary: Did Taryn* come back from the doctor’s?
Chart drone: Yeah, she said the doctor put a stiffener in her.
Secretary: Good, that will help her.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: phoenix, best analyst ever
Woman: My tooth fell out yesterday. You know, chewing gum and blood taste quite nice together.
Suit: You are a vampire.
Woman: No, actually, I’m a werewolf.
Suit: [Moves away.]
Rozemblum
Tel-Aviv
Israel
Sales manager: Jack* didn’t show up to work today. He probably went to an interview at another company.
VP: Is this the guy with the shoes?
Sales manager: Yep.
VP: Any dude wearing white shoes and a white belt is somewhat suspect…
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Smiths
Disembodied voice: Yeah, I had him for five months — a big ol’ black boy. He had a toilet paper fetish.
Capital of Texas Highway
Austin, Texas
Hockey dad: If this snow keeps up, there won’t be any hot-tubbing with the hockey MILFs tonight.
Bachelor: Hockey MILFs?
Hockey dad: You better believe it.
Highways 24 and 401
Cambridge, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: My kid’s on the wrong hockey team
Team leader: She was like some kind of robot lesbian.
St. John’s, Newfoundland
Canadia
Office guy: He’s married with two kids, but all he does is play Xbox.
Office girl: That’s not good.
Office guy: Well, he does find time to do other things, like, you know, play with his kids and smoke weed.
Connecticut
