Preppy student: Hey, do you guys remember that penis enlargement video we watched in business class? Yeah, that was hilarious.
529 Vaughan Road
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: oh-that-new-curriculum
Preppy student: Hey, do you guys remember that penis enlargement video we watched in business class? Yeah, that was hilarious.
529 Vaughan Road
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: oh-that-new-curriculum
Large customer lady: I leave a big puddle… That’s how people know I’ve been here!
Melbourne
Australia
Clerk #1: My boss is bad off because he ain’t had a BM for weeks.
Clerk #2: Ass-kisser.
Central Park West and 71st Street
New York, New York
Coworker #1: When she [pregnant supervisor] saw what we did here, she almost had her baby.
Coworker #2: In a bad way?
Coworker #3: Nobody has a baby in a good way!
640 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Boss: How long do I still have to wait for those reports?
Worker: Steve* is doing the final results. [Both stare at Steve.]Steve, coming out of a reverie: A polar bear is as tall as an elephant!
New York, New York
Overheard by: WTF
Male peon #1: I watched that movie Roadhouse every day for like five years. Literally.
Male peon #2: I was like that with the first Lethal Weapon.
Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Mid-level manager: I didn’t know ham could smell fear.
Highland Hills, Ohio
Volunteer to another, in giraffe house: You should have been here last night — it was a total zoo.
Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Randy Peterman
Office girl on the phone with boyfriend: So, my therapist says that I’m doing a great job. He said I could be the poster girl for mentally ill people who are successful because I take my meds, go to work, have a healthy relationship and stuff, you know? And I was totally flattered and agreeing with him, but then I thought, ‘You know, my parents are proud of me and stuff, but they wouldn’t want the world knowing I’m psycho, and it would probably embarrass them a little.’ So my doctor looks at me and says, ‘Um, you know there’s not really a poster girl, right?’
214 Lincoln Street
Allston, Massachusetts
Cube rat: Dude, I got so drunk last night! I ran into this guy I haven’t seen in 20 years — he owns a tow truck. I got so drunk that he put my car on the truck and drove me home!
2300 Crystal Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Sober but Empathetic
