Female office worker: I think I like this purse more than my Coach purse. It fits more stuff. I could fit a burrito in here! Actually, I do have a burrito in here.
350 Los Ranchitos Road
San Rafael, California
Female office worker: I think I like this purse more than my Coach purse. It fits more stuff. I could fit a burrito in here! Actually, I do have a burrito in here.
350 Los Ranchitos Road
San Rafael, California
Receptionist: I told him, ‘It doesn’t matter if she’s weird or if she meows like a cat, she’s still your teacher…’
4 Choke Cherry Road
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: I never had teachers like that
Cube rat on phone: I saw the puppy on my lunch break… Yeah, now I have to go home and scrub the bathroom floor with my teeth.
Irving, Texas
Female analyst: Actually, my parents are in town this weekend. I think we’re going to go see the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Male analyst: Oh! The Dead Sea Scrolls! You mean… the band?
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Bored Actuarial Intern
Old woman: She’s been doing the moonwalk.
Young woman: That’s great!
Old woman: They’re waiting to find out the results of her biopsy.
Young woman: Yeah…
417 3rd Avenue
Albany, Georgia
Summer associate to managing partner: … And then my mom told my date, ‘The monkey can play in the trees, but not in the bush.’
Century City, California
Cube dweller #1: Hey, today’s your first paycheck, right? What are you gonna do with it?
Cube dweller #2: I gonna buy a new whip.
Englewood, Colorado
Worker bee: As a child — as an infant — I was a projectile vomiter. Laying on my back, I could hit the ceiling! It’s too bad I can’t do that now.
402 Watertower Circle
Colchester, Vermont
Overheard by: Bastian
Office chick #1: I’m scared of the men’s room. I think it’s the urinal…
Office chick #2: I’m scared of that little thing in the men’s room.
Office chick #1: What little thing?
Office chick #2: You know — that little wooden thing. It used to be in our bathroom… It looks like a little totem pole.
Newtown Square, Pennsylvania
Office girl: He was murdered outside that bar.
Office guy: Oh my god! I remember that. It was on the news. You knew him?
Office girl: Yeah! I got his microwave!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
