Coworker #1: When she [pregnant supervisor] saw what we did here, she almost had her baby.
Coworker #2: In a bad way?
Coworker #3: Nobody has a baby in a good way!
640 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker #1: When she [pregnant supervisor] saw what we did here, she almost had her baby.
Coworker #2: In a bad way?
Coworker #3: Nobody has a baby in a good way!
640 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Boss: How long do I still have to wait for those reports?
Worker: Steve* is doing the final results. [Both stare at Steve.]Steve, coming out of a reverie: A polar bear is as tall as an elephant!
New York, New York
Overheard by: WTF
Male peon #1: I watched that movie Roadhouse every day for like five years. Literally.
Male peon #2: I was like that with the first Lethal Weapon.
Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Mid-level manager: I didn’t know ham could smell fear.
Highland Hills, Ohio
Volunteer to another, in giraffe house: You should have been here last night — it was a total zoo.
Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Randy Peterman
Office girl on the phone with boyfriend: So, my therapist says that I’m doing a great job. He said I could be the poster girl for mentally ill people who are successful because I take my meds, go to work, have a healthy relationship and stuff, you know? And I was totally flattered and agreeing with him, but then I thought, ‘You know, my parents are proud of me and stuff, but they wouldn’t want the world knowing I’m psycho, and it would probably embarrass them a little.’ So my doctor looks at me and says, ‘Um, you know there’s not really a poster girl, right?’
214 Lincoln Street
Allston, Massachusetts
Cube rat: Dude, I got so drunk last night! I ran into this guy I haven’t seen in 20 years — he owns a tow truck. I got so drunk that he put my car on the truck and drove me home!
2300 Crystal Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Sober but Empathetic
CSR #1: She just has a hard time with things, you know? Being deaf and partially blind and all…
CSR #2: Well, that can be hard.
Austin, Texas
Secretary on phone: No, I haven’t been well lately. I’ve had a bout of shingles all summer. From my breast bone to my hip, all down my right side… Shingles! No, shingles! Do you know what that is? It’s herpes! All down my right side!
1 Beacon Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Grunt #1 on phone: They said that I was down there for one of two reasons — to buy drugs or find a prostitute.
Grunt #2, after #1 hangs up: I don’t want to know. As long as it was billable…
Grunt #1: What’s the task code for hiring a prostitute?
180 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: in tears
