Guy on phone: She’s not God, but she’s a good candidate.
7th Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Guy on phone: She’s not God, but she’s a good candidate.
7th Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Boss: I’m on the banana.
Library
Virginia
Kid: I have to tell you something.
Teacher: Okay…
Kid: Sometimes when I fart, I get poop in my pants.
Teacher: I don’t need to know that.
Public school
Maryland
Man #1: Yeah, sometimes things are just different.
Man #2: Yeah, sometimes I get rug burn on my love handles.
Home office
Bentonville, Arkansas
Overheard by: SamsGuy
Creative director: I’m trying not to push myself today. I kind of had a spinal tap at three A.M.
29th Street
New York, New York
Grunt #1: Seriously, dude, what the hell is up with Ahmed’s* hair?
Grunt #2: I know what you mean. It’s like someone turned up the gamma setting on his head — like, all the way.
555 West Imperial Highway
Brea, California
Overheard by: Yannibmbr
Production manager: As the wrestler Mr. Perfect used to say, ‘It ain’t easy being perfect, but somebody’s gotta do it!’
Sales guy: Hey, you’ve got coffee on your shirt.
Production manager, crestfallen: Oh… I guess I’m not perfect, after all…
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
Female colleague #1: Isn’t it amazing?
Female colleague #2: Oh, come on — it’s made of felt.
Female colleague #1: Exactly…
Munich
Germany
Overheard by: Dapbim
Hospital aide: Yeah, these pants come in ‘Large’ and ‘Holy shit, you’re fat’!
Hospital
Monroeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The other aide
Office hottie #1: Just think of all the stuff we put in our mouths that we don’t think about…
Office hottie #2: Ummm…
8891 Gander Creek
Dayton, Ohio
