.Net developer, finishing a presentation: … And that’s my presentation on .Net custom controls. Any questions about the toggle reader or list controls?
Java developer, bursting at the seams: So it turns out my frat brothers inadvertently stole a human corpse!
Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania
Lab worker #1: Murder only applies to humans. It’s a term specific to us.
Lab worker #2: You can’t ‘murder’ a dream?
Lab worker #1: You can’t murder baby cows.
Lab worker #2: What about cats?
Lab worker #1: No. Cats can’t be murdered… Unless they?re half-cat, half-person.
Lab worker #2: Then it’s half murder.
Lab worker #1: Even if it’s premeditated, it’s knocked back to manslaughter. That?s probably why the cat people think we’re biased against them, but really it’s just that the legal system wasn?t set up with them in mind. [Silence.] I’ve thought about this a lot.
Durham, North Carolina
Worker bee #1: I don’t know how good an idea that is in a canoe.
Worker bee #2: What? At worst, they could get you for public intoxication.
Worker bee #1: I’m not worried about the legal ramifications. I’m worried about the drowning ramifications.
9000 Plymouth Avenue North
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Worker bee #1: I don’t know about dating him. I can’t get over the age difference. It would be–
Worker bee #2: –Like raping a child?
Worker bee #1: Well, no…
Worker bee #2: Not your, like, son…
Worker bee #1: [Silence.]
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Cube Eavesdropper
Woman to boss: You should absolutely take your daughter to see To Kill a Mockingbird. Unless, of course, you’re worried about rape.
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
