Drool on My Salad and Die

Trendy vegan worker: What’s that smell? Is someone cooking bacon?
Coworker: There’s some in my salad.
Trendy vegan worker: That’s so odd. I never even liked bacon, but it smells so good! It’s making me horny!

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on July 8, 2026
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Minnesota

But Everybody Calls Him Davy

Coworker: Does any other Daves work here?
Dave: No. Except for Dave.

Book store
Southlake, Texas

Overheard by: We also have three Ashleys, three Michaels and two Clints!

Posted on July 7, 2026
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Texas

And, on Special Occasions, Beer

Worker bee: In a perfect world everyone should smell like pizza.

Hemel Hempstead
UK

Overheard by: I’d prefer fresh-cut grass

Posted on July 4, 2026
Coworkers, General Idiocy, UK

But I Speak a Smattering of Moron

Coworker on phone: No, sir, I am not an idiot.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 30, 2026
Coworkers, Illinois, Insults, Midwest, On the phone, United States

In Totally Unrelated News, My Voodoo Doll Works

Office peon on phone: Hey, you know what? I have even more Earth-shattering news for you. Apparently Paula Abdul broke her nose this weekend trying to step over her Chihuahua!

171 Nepean Street
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: I to the Sac

Posted on June 29, 2026
Canadia, Coworkers, Gossip, On the phone

Nixed Greens

Coworker #1: I am going across the street to get something to eat. Do you ladies want anything?
Coworker #2: Do you want to bring me back a salad?
Coworker #1: Not really… I was just being courteous.

North University and Fletcher Streets
Michigan

Posted on June 29, 2026
Coworkers, Insults, Meals and Snacks

“Real” Means Different Things to Different People

Trekkie coworker: Dude, at the convention they had light sabers for sale for two hundred dollars.
Bored coworker: So?
Trekkie coworker: They were just plastic, they weren’t even real!

County Road 427
Auburn, Indiana

Overheard by: Doesn’t have a real light saber either