Veteran employee: Looks like all the seats are taken for the meeting.
Newbie: Well, there are some by me — looks like I am somewhat of a pariah!
Veteran employee: What? Oh you mean piranha — the word is ‘piranha.’ It’s a fish from, like, Australia. Oh, wait, does that mean you’re gonna bite me?
75 Washington Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Brian Brinegar
Worker girl: I have to clean my room when I get home tonight. Clothing is everywhere.
Worker guy: Why? Are you having someone come over?
Worker girl: Not planning on it, but you never know.
Worker guy: Why the hell do you bother picking up clothing? Maybe if it were actually filthy… But if you’re going to let a guy look at your vagina, he should be willing to deal with a shirt on your floor.
McLean, Virginia
Overheard by: Well He’s Right
Stall #1: … And so last week I told him the next time he wants a booty call, don’t call me!
Stall #2: So, like, did he call you again?
Stall #1: Yeah, and I went over there last night. He’s such a jerk!
Office
Rochester, Michigan
Overheard by: pee quiet
White coworker: We should go on the walking trail after work sometime.
Asian coworker: Yeah, that sounds like fun!
White coworker: I would feel safer with you because no one would attack us because they would think you know kung-fu.
Asian coworker: [Silence.]
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Chick: What is this, pedophile music?
Munkegata, Oslo
Norway
Coworker #1: You touched the nipple? You broke it?
Stan*: I didn’t break the nipple!
Coworker #2, walking in: What did you break, Stan?
420 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker: Huh? Dude, I can’t hear you, you have your headphones in.
Cambridge, Maryland
Overheard by: Why oh why…?
Chick: Who was that?
Guy: He works for one of our other brands. Isn’t he hot?
Chick: Very handsome. Is he Indian or black?
Guy: Black.
Chick: Dark meat’s the best.
Guy: I haven’t done that yet.
Chick: Really? You haven’t lived!
575 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Thompson
Guy: You seriously want to move to Halifax?
Girl: Yeah, why?
Guy: Because it means that you’ll have to be a pirate as well as a lesbian.
University of Windsor
Windsor, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: colin
Office drone on phone: … So he fit two fingers up his nose?
Back Bay
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: amused passerby
