Large coworker: What you do is you split the Krispy Kreme in half and grill it, then put the cheeseburger on it, and I swear, it’s the best way to have it.
Capitol Hill
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jessica
Large coworker: What you do is you split the Krispy Kreme in half and grill it, then put the cheeseburger on it, and I swear, it’s the best way to have it.
Capitol Hill
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jessica
Coworker: Every time he gets out of jail I end up pregnant.
Masonic Drive
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Nurse
Lady coworker #1 standing in hospital cafeteria line: Wow. Cod again? Why can’t they have a bigger variety of seafood?
Lady coworker #2: It would be great if they would serve something besides fish, like shrimp or crab.
Lady coworker #1: Shellfish is always best when it’s fresh, though. Whenever I go to the East Coast I always come back with crabs.
2801 W Oklahoma Avenue
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Chinese immigrant driver: Everyone is talking about gay marriage. What is ‘gay’?
Lady driver: It’s, uh, when two men or two women like each other in a, uh, sexual way.
Chinese immigrant driver: Oh! We don’t have that in China.
Calgary International Airport Parkade
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Girl Driver #2
Straight guy #1: Are we actually watching the Ellen DeGeneres Show?
Straight guy #2: It’s just on.
Straight guy #3: I think she’s hot.
Straight guy #2: Ellen DeGeneres is hot?
Straight guy #3: Yeah.
Straight guy #2: I saw her in real life once.
Straight guy #3: Yeah, where?
Straight guy #2: I was in a lesbian disco in West Hollywood.
Straight guy #3: Wait, she’s gay?
Straight guy #2: Ellen? Are you kidding?
Straight guy #3: Oh, I thought we were talking about Rachael Ray.
1260 Library Street
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: little*bit
Security guard #1: … So then she got arrested again.
Security guard #2: Oh, what’s that now?
Security guard #1: Yeah, she got arrested for stealing chickens.
333 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Krazy Karl
Hostess #1: I wish I were a lesbian sometimes.
Hostess #2: Why is that?
Hostess #1: Oh, you know, so I could dress how I want.
Hostess #2: Ummm… You can do that anyway.
Hostess #1, laughing: Oh, you know what I mean! Baggy clothes!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: scd
Coworker #1 : Yo, did y’all know Robert E. Lee was an Aborigine?
Long pause.
Coworker #2: Do you mean ‘abolitionist’?
Coworker #1: Oh, yeah.
1434 Larimer Street
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: John Howard
Girl: So, I’m really scared because I got jury duty. I don’t want to be in the same room as a criminal.
Paralegal: Well, maybe they’re not a criminal. That’s the point of jury duty.
Girl: But… aren’t they guilty if they were arrested? I mean, the police don’t just go around arresting people if they’re innocent.
1355 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Overheard by: sam
Travel agent #1: I would go back there in a heartbeat. China was so awesome.
Travel agent #2: I heard that China was insane.
Travel agent #3: Any ugly girl wrestler has to be a little insane. I mean, Chyna was the craziest woman wrestler ever.
Travel agent #1: Ummm… yeah.
Jasper Avenue
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
