CEO discussing a potential partner: I think they’re more pregnant with us than they’d care to admit.
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
CEO discussing a potential partner: I think they’re more pregnant with us than they’d care to admit.
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Female student #1: I dunno — maybe I should give up drinking.
Female student #2: That’s never a good idea.
Female student #1: It’s just that I’m older, y’know? The drinking scene is so played…
Male student, joining them minutes later: So, what are you guys doing this weekend?
Female student #1: Getting fucking hammered.
Female student #2: What happened to giving up drinking?
Female student #1: Oh, please, that was so two minutes ago.
University Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: the iPod was just a front
IT guy #1: Yeah, it’s my grandmother’s one hundredth birthday next March.
IT guy #2: Wow, really?
IT guy #1: Yup. I’m going to send her a strip-o-gram.
7th street and 7th Avenue
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Salesman on phone: Yes, I’m calling to speak to Stan*.
Guy answering phone: One moment, I’ll see if he’s in the office. [Muffled] Stan, there’s someone on the phone for you. What should I tell them?
Stan: No, tell them I’m not here.
Guy answering phone, to salesman: I’m sorry, sir, he must have stepped out. Hhe’s not in the shop.
Salesman: Are you kidding? I could hear you yell, ‘Stan, there’s someone on the phone for you,’ and then he yelled back, ‘Tell them I’m not here…’
Guy answering phone: Oh, sorry… Yeah, I should have muted it. Yeah, he’s actually in the shower right now and can’t get to the phone.
Salesman: … I’ll call back later.
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Andrew
Call center agent: I’m sorry, but for international calls, you’ll have to contact your zero operator for information.
Customer: You can’t help me?
Call center agent: No, I only provide listings in North America.
Customer: What?
Call center agent: I am a 4-1-1 operator. You need the zero operator.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Call center agent, sighing: The zero operator can help you. I cannot.
Customer: So you’re useless?
Call center agent: In this case, I am completely useless to you, yes.
Customer, to friend in same room: Hahahaha! She admitted she was useless!
Call center agent: [Slooow exhale.]
Kitchener, Ontario
Canadia
Overworked CSR: Sir, at any point in our conversation today did I provide you with my name?
Customer: No.
Overworked CSR: Good — fuck you [hangs up].
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Cube rat to neighbor: I think it’s worth six million dollars. Wait, I didn’t write six million, I wrote six thousand… Or is that your writing? … Oh, that’s the square footage… Duh…
1477 Lansdowne Street
Peterborough, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: slacker
Engineer: So, apparently she holds out her cell phone to people on the street and says, ‘This is my husband. Tell him he’s an asshole!’
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: thankfully unmarried
Manager: Okay, creatives, since [creative director] is away this week, I’ve decided to make you comfortable: Motherfucker, cunt, snatch, bitch, motherfucker!
Adelaide Street
West Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: just passing through
Preppy student: Hey, do you guys remember that penis enlargement video we watched in business class? Yeah, that was hilarious.
529 Vaughan Road
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: oh-that-new-curriculum
