Time Management

Grunt #1: Shit, the bombs aren’t in the bags.
Grunt #2: Awww, fuck it. Let’s go get a hamburger.

New York, New York

Overheard by: Thrax

Boss: Let’s get things set up. Let’s move the mouse.

Bethesda, Maryland

Salesman: We’re looking for your shorts!

8531 East Marginal Way South
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Lowly Clerk

Manager: Yes, next week we’ll all be in Mexico.
Woman #1: I hope you are going to relax this vacation.
Manager: I feel if I don’t run around and see everything, I’m wasting the experience.
Woman #2: Let me explain something clearly to you: vacation is sex, food, sleep, more sex, more sex.
Manager: [Stunned.]Woman #2: That’s why you never come back relaxed. Sex, sex, nap, sex. Repeat that.

Garden State Mall
Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: Woman #3

Incompetent project manager, after asking redundant questions: Um… Are you going to charge this time to my project?
Competent cube dweller: Oh, yeah, I’m gonna charge this! I’m gonna charge the fuck outta this project!

940 6th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Carver Stone

Woman on cell: … So now instead of going to the funeral we’re going to the strawberry festival.

Indiana government center
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Mmm… strawberries

Admin girl: Are you sure you don’t have any meetings scheduled this afternoon or want to leave early to get a start on your weekend?
Boss: Nope, I’m all free this afternoon and thought I’d catch up on paper work.
Admin girl: Oh, okay.
Boss: Why?
Admin girl: Because when you leave early I normally give you 10 minutes’ headway and then sneak out myself.
Boss: Ugh, just go already.

Brisbane
Australia