Office tech, fiddling with printer: I’m still getting that sensor dustiness error.
Office bimbette: Oh! I know how to fix that! You have to open it up and blow. Just give it a good blow and then it’s fine!
922 3rd Street
Sedro-Wolley, Washington
Overheard by: T-Rex
Medical dispatcher giving CPR instructions: Now straddle his lips with your hips…
San Jose, California
Overheard by: firechick
Female cube dweller #1: I just got a massage for the first time.
Female cube dweller #2: How was it?
Female cube dweller #1: Girl, it was amazing. He had me get naked and even gave me a complimentary breast massage.
Male cube dweller: Wait… Wait… I don’t think he was supposed to do that.
Female cube dweller #1: Really? I don’t see why not… Really? Shit, I didn’t know that.
Male cube dweller: Yeah, he violated you. You can report him and he can lose his license for doing something like that.
Female cube dweller #1: Well, I don’t care — he was fine anyway. I’ll probably call him for another one.
Male cube dweller: You’re an idiot!
1455 Chancellor Drive
Orlando, Florida
60-year-old coworker: I wanna go in the back door.
Supervisor: Okay…
60-year-old coworker: I really like going in back doors.
801 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Porter
Boss lady: I just don’t think thong underwear is that attractive. I mean, maybe if you’re 12 years old and tight…
Assistant: I don’t think a 12-year-old in thong underwear is attractive.
Boss lady: Well, when you’re 12, you’re tight.
Burbank, California
Male to female coworkers: Do you want to have an insertion party? I mean, do you need some help?
1000 West Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia
Male peon: I didn’t want to grab your… area.
Sierra College Boulevard
Rocklin, California
Female worker to another: I was gonna show you something. You wanna go to the ladies’ room?
Seneca Street
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: MonkeyPantaloons
Female grunt #1 looking around: Ramone* has them.
Female grunt #2, holding plastic jacks in hand: Has what?
Female grunt #1: My balls. Ramone has my balls.
19th Street and Deer Valley Road
Arizona
Editor to coworker whose loud text alert goes off in meeting: Matt*, when your crotch cries out, we all stop and take notice.
Bay Avenue
Stafford, New Jersey
Overheard by: inothernews
