Accounting clerk: I like this vibrator, but he won’t stand up straight.
Mebane, North Carolina
Overheard by: Making accounting more fun
Accounting clerk: I like this vibrator, but he won’t stand up straight.
Mebane, North Carolina
Overheard by: Making accounting more fun
Creepster customer: You working hard?
Cute cashier: Yes, sir!
Creepster customer: Well, if you follow me out back, I could find a few ways to work you harder.
Cute cashier: No, thank you, sir.
Creepster customer: Alright, cutie, don’t say I never tried to give you anything [pays and leaves].
Cute cashier, dropping the perky act: What a fucking asshole! I hope his dick get an infection and falls off. [New customer walks up, and cute cashier resumes perky act] How are you doing?!
Grocery store
Farmville, North Carolina
Coworker #1: Who’s ringing?
Coworker #2: Not me. I vibrate.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Cube dweller: Well, I’m in a curious pickle… Can anyone else see?
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Woman: Hey! How are you?
Small, loud man: Do you really want to know, or should I just smile and nod?
3040 Cornwallis Road
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Overheard by: Ben A. Fit
50-ish lady peon: Oh, honey, you don’t have to lift those boxes!
20-ish lady peon: No, it’s okay, I really don’t mind. They’re not very heavy.
50-ish lady peon: But that shows on a woman later in life!
20-ish lady peon: Shows? What do you mean?
50-ish lady peon: Well, you know, makes you big… Like the She-Hulk, or that hermaphrodite wrestler! You don’t want people thinking you’re not a woman, do you?
University of North Carolina, 208 Raleigh Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Cashier #1: I don’t understand why people act like such assholes to us, you know?
Cashier #2: Because they know we can’t say anything back.
Cashier #1: But… for all they know we could be mentally unbalanced and one little comment from them could send us over the edge, and we could get their addresses and hack them into pieces one night.
Cashier #2: I’m telling my mama not to go through your line no more, you crazy bitch.
Grocery store
Farmville, North Carolina
Overheard by: MB
Assistant checking weather online: Ohhh! Derek* got 12 inches yesterday!
Cube rat: I’m sorry, what did you say?
Assistant: He got 12 inches!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Temp at day’s end finding her car’s been running since lunch: Oh, my! I must have forgotten again!
Sweeten Creek Road
Asheville, North Carolina
Sales guy: What are you two up to?
Systems admin: Nothing. We’re being facetious.
Sales chick: Wow, that’s a big word for Erin*. I’m not sure she used it correctly, though.
Sales guy: We’ll give her an A for effort, though.
Systems admin, skipping: I said ‘facetious,’ I said ‘facetious’!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
