Graphic design girl: How do you lick that off someone’s boob?
Parsippany, New Jersey
Graphic design girl: How do you lick that off someone’s boob?
Parsippany, New Jersey
Employee #1, looking at intranet option of business transactions menu: Hey, look! Heh. These morons spelled ‘Internet’ wrong on this menu.
Employee #2: No, they didn’t.
Employee #1: Yes, they did. See?
Employee #2: No, an intranet is different than the Internet. It’s sort of like a private version of the Internet for corporations and organizations.
Employee #1: Oh, seriously? Damn, look at you, making me feel all stupid and shit. I’ve never heard of that before in my life. I bet you’re the only one here who knows that. Look, I’ll prove it to you. [Calls boss over.] Look, they spelled ‘Internet’ wrong on this menu.
Boss: Oh, I know! Isn’t it funny? Yeah, those morons at corporate can’t spell!
Hackensack, New Jersey
Fashion exec on phone: Did you smell your shorts yet?
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Overheard by: I smelled them too
Cube dweller on phone: Stupid, beer-drinking cat.
Bedminster, New Jersey
Admin: Well, when you feel better we have to talk. We have to make sure everyone knows that my job is so important.
Manager, sighing: Yes, Terri*, we’ve had this conversation. It’s not good to be so needy or crave so much recognition.
Admin: I have so much to offer! So many people are doing double work!
Manager: Cheer down, girlfriend. No one really cares.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Lawyer: Does it smell in here?
Secretary: Yeah, it smells like bacon.
Lawyer: It smells like the kind of bacon grasshoppers eat.
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Reporter: Aw, Alex*. Look at you helping people.
Editor, disgusted: I know. It really turns my stomach.
Press building
New Jersey
Overheard by: inothernews
Boss to statistician entering the room: We were just wondering if it was even possible to be overlay-ed?
Arnett Avenue
Lambertville, New Jersey
Overheard by: Overjoyed
20-something worker #1: You know, I’ve never had a bikini wax. Never.
20-something worker #2: What? How do you keep yourself… fresh down there?
20-something worker #1: Neutrogena works like a charm.
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bored in NJ
Doctor to patient with teardrop tattoo under eye: That’s a pretty cool tattoo. Where’d you get it?
Patient, uneasily: Uh… At this place I used to stay.
Doctor: That wouldn’t be jail, would it?
Patient: Maybe…
Hospital
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: this guy
