Suit #1: That toilet has been clogged for two days now. Didn’t somebody call Property Management to fix it?
Suit #2: Yeah, they were called. Here comes Pete* from Property Management now. Check out the rubber gloves up to his elbows.
Suit #1: Hey, Pete, how’s it going?
Pete: Okay, I guess. Same shit, different day.
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Boss: You have to clean your work space. It’s a mess.
Worker: The space is clear. It’s only my desk that’s a mess.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
CSR #1 on phone: Hello, are you there? Marco? Marco?
CSRs #2 and #3, simultaneously: Polo? Polo?
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Office guy spatting while office girl: You slap like my mom.
Office girl: [Laughs.]Client on speakerphone with office supervisor who’s frantically hushing employees: I think the guy in the background just said he slept with his mom.
Ringwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: cps
Graphic design girl: How do you lick that off someone’s boob?
Parsippany, New Jersey
Employee #1, looking at intranet option of business transactions menu: Hey, look! Heh. These morons spelled ‘Internet’ wrong on this menu.
Employee #2: No, they didn’t.
Employee #1: Yes, they did. See?
Employee #2: No, an intranet is different than the Internet. It’s sort of like a private version of the Internet for corporations and organizations.
Employee #1: Oh, seriously? Damn, look at you, making me feel all stupid and shit. I’ve never heard of that before in my life. I bet you’re the only one here who knows that. Look, I’ll prove it to you. [Calls boss over.] Look, they spelled ‘Internet’ wrong on this menu.
Boss: Oh, I know! Isn’t it funny? Yeah, those morons at corporate can’t spell!
Hackensack, New Jersey
Fashion exec on phone: Did you smell your shorts yet?
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Overheard by: I smelled them too
Cube dweller on phone: Stupid, beer-drinking cat.
Bedminster, New Jersey
Admin: Well, when you feel better we have to talk. We have to make sure everyone knows that my job is so important.
Manager, sighing: Yes, Terri*, we’ve had this conversation. It’s not good to be so needy or crave so much recognition.
Admin: I have so much to offer! So many people are doing double work!
Manager: Cheer down, girlfriend. No one really cares.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Lawyer: Does it smell in here?
Secretary: Yeah, it smells like bacon.
Lawyer: It smells like the kind of bacon grasshoppers eat.
Bridgewater, New Jersey
