Reporter #1: How should I identify a chicken at a press conference? There was a guy in a chicken suit who refused to give me his name.
Reporter #2: If it was a guy in a suit, I think you’d have to call him an ‘Unidentified chicken impersonator.’
400 East Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Jack Ace, reporter-at-large
Production manager: As the wrestler Mr. Perfect used to say, ‘It ain’t easy being perfect, but somebody’s gotta do it!’
Sales guy: Hey, you’ve got coffee on your shirt.
Production manager, crestfallen: Oh… I guess I’m not perfect, after all…
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
Office guy: Have you been working out?
Intern: Uh, yeah, why?
Office guy: I can tell [walks away].
Intern, to another: Was he just hitting on me?
Parkway Drive
Hanover, Maryland
Male boss: It was uncomfortable how far up there she was.
Ellicott City, Maryland
Geriatric waitress: Hi, how y’all doin’?
College guy: Great. You?
Geriatric waitress: Ehhh, I’m a little stoned. Gotta do something to put up with these drunk assholes and teenagers.
College guy: Sweet.
Geriatric waitress: You kids like Michael Jackson? Heard he was touring again.
College girl: Oh, yeah! I heard about that. I’m pretty stoked.
Geriatric waitress: Me, too! I loved his music. But geez, how can a gorgeous black man turn into an ugly and scary-lookin’ white girl?
Pancake place, Cherry Hill Road
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: High On Life
Expansion specialist to trainee: So, did you put the dead guy in ‘Deceased’?
4833 Rugby Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland
Receptionist: I told him, ‘It doesn’t matter if she’s weird or if she meows like a cat, she’s still your teacher…’
4 Choke Cherry Road
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: I never had teachers like that
Receptionist: Girl, you’re young, you’re skinny, you’ve got a boyfriend who makes you happy, and you’re not cramping. You were doomed to have a shitty week here before you walked through that door.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: They’re not bitter or anything, though…
Receptionist: Well, I wouldn’t know. I don’t go into the men’s room.
Cintas lady: That’s where I get most of my pleasure at!
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Nikki
Managing editor: Our system’s down until 2:50.
Reporter: To the bars, then!
Other reporters: Yay!
Editor-in-chief: Why the hell not?
400 East Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
