Manager: Okay, creatives, since [creative director] is away this week, I’ve decided to make you comfortable: Motherfucker, cunt, snatch, bitch, motherfucker!
Adelaide Street
West Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: just passing through
Manager: Okay, creatives, since [creative director] is away this week, I’ve decided to make you comfortable: Motherfucker, cunt, snatch, bitch, motherfucker!
Adelaide Street
West Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: just passing through
Waitress #1: What’s with your couple at table five? It’s impossible to tell how old they are. They could be in their 20s or 50s.
Waitress #2: That’s ’cause they’re foreign. All foreign people look like vampires.
River Street
Savannah, Georgia
Lady employee to friend: Looks like we’re both going solo together tonight.
Club, 815 V Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Matt
Receptionist answering phone: XYZ Law Firm*. How can I help you?
Assistant, on the phone: Hey, it’s Kevin*. While I’m buying supplies, can I get myself some candy?
Receptionist: No, just get what’s on the list.
Assistant: But last time I got candy and everyone liked it.
Receptionist: No, no candy.
Assistant: Okay. Um, about the light bulbs… Did you want me to buy frosted or clear ones?
Receptionist: I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. Just get the clear.
Assistant: Yeah… Um, no. They don’t have any clear.
2223 East Speedway Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona
Dean: I don’t think we can be the best in the United States, but I do think we have a shot at being the best in the world.
College Station, Texas
Overheard by: Faith
Music industry worker: I want to hear that one pretty song about her dad dying.
150 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Boss: You shouldn’t throw glass stones at a house!
155 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Office monkey #1: I’m sure it’ll be fine.
Office monkey #2: But what if it isn’t?
Office monkey #3: Then it won’t be.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Office monkey #4
Female coworker: Do you think you can have your nipples removed? I mean, I would never do it, but for a man? He doesn’t need them. They don’t breastfeed, so they’re totally useless. I would be disturbed if I ever saw a man lactating… Yeah, this is why I shouldn’t think.
Doughnut shop
Quincy, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Disturbed Coworker
Jersey office girl: Hey, my little dumpling!
Russian office girl: Dumpling?
Jersey office girl: Yeah! You’re my little dumpling!
Russian office girl: A dumpling is not so nice. I’d rather be a bread stick.
West 28th Street
New York, New York
