Woman: There’s something wrong with my computer. There are satellites
and things floating around! Why did you work on my computer? I thought you were done. I have to get my work done! Do you know what you are doing! Fix it!
IT gal: Okay, let me see. I did not work on your system today, let me
look.
Mouse click.
IT gal: …It’s the screensaver.
4411 Beacon Circle
West Palm Beach, Florida
Cashier, holding up a coupon: I’ll just have to take off your panties.
Victoria’s Secret, Green Tree Mall
Clarksville, Indiana
Overheard by: The next one in line
Maintenance guy: It says you shouldn’t sleep with your dog… or your brother.
Route 447
Canadensis, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Mistro
Passenger #1: Don’t you wanna use the stairs for just one floor?
Passenger #2: Hmmm… I never know which one goes up and which one goes down.
Packed elevator, 1909 K Street
Washington, DC
Colleague: You know why George Bush Sr. died? [Others look at one another, then laugh.] … Isn’t he dead?!
Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: JS
Cashier to customer: These are cute bras. I wish I had big boobs. Everyone says I should be happy with what I got, but I think I’d like big ones. [Customer stares silently.] Guys like big ones. Not saying yours are big or anything, but I wish I had your boobs.
2000 Barnett Shoals Road
Athens, Georgia
Secretary: What does it do when it archeeves my email?
Boss: Are you serious?
Secretary: I mean, where does it go after it’s done archeeving?
Boss: Oh god.
5353 McCurry Road
Roscoe, Illinois
Secretary: You know, those wireless headsets have been a boon for the homeless.
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: mmhmmm
Co-worker: My fiance and I are going to LA this weekend, and I’m trying to lose a pound or two before then so my friends don’t think I’m pregnant.
1600 Amphitheatre Parkway
Mountain View, California
Receptionist: So we’re going to need to reschedule his appointment, then?
Nurse: No, Mary*, this patient has passed away.
Receptionist: Okay, so then I’ll call him in the morning?
Nurse: You don’t understand. He’s dead.
Receptionist: Well, Dr. Smith* has a slot open for Monday…
Nurse: He’s dead.
Providence Hospital, 5th Street and Colby Avenue
Everett, Washington
