Office guy: I mean, I wouldn’t wish death on anyone, but if we came back from break and she died… I’d be secretly happy.
Office girl: Yeah. Like, if I had to choose someone in the office to die–
Office guy: –It would be her.
Office girl: Totally.
Office guy: Anyway, have a lovely Christmas!
Office girl: You, too! Happy holidays!
Melbourne
Australia
Boss, quietly singing: I’m a chubby little monkey, monkey, monkey — I’m a chubby little monkey…
Harris Street
Pyrmont
Australia
Overheard by: i am too!
Consultant giving directions over phone: Yeah, it’s like an hour away. An hour and a half at the most. Actually, it could be more like two hours… Or two and a half. Probably more like three. About four, I’d say.
Queen Street
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
CSR #1, after moving offices: Does the mouse get plugged into the monitor or the computer?
CSR #2: [Stares in disbelief and silence, and then starts laughing.]CSR #1: I can’t believe I just said that. That’s the most stupid question I’ve ever heard!
Perth
Australia
Assistant: What are you up to?
Boss, gleefully: I’m fucking about!
Queen Street
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
Lady suit #1: There is a quote by Mark Twain that would be perfect for our presentation, just as a conclusion. What do you think?
Lady suit #2: Um, is that Shania Twain’s dad?
St. George’s Terrace
Perth
Australia
Overheard by: not a shania fan
Large customer lady: I leave a big puddle… That’s how people know I’ve been here!
Melbourne
Australia
Peon #1, about son: Yeah, so he’s just at that age where he’s throwing things around now. I mean, he’ll grow out of it, but it’s annoying replacing his dummy every time he throws it away.
Peon #2: How old is he?
Peon #1: Twenty-three.
Clarendon Street
East Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Company rep: Good morning, monsieurs and madames! I thought we were all friends, but I’ve heard that someone here thinks I’m pretentious.
Law firm
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Megsie
Admin girl: Are you sure you don’t have any meetings scheduled this afternoon or want to leave early to get a start on your weekend?
Boss: Nope, I’m all free this afternoon and thought I’d catch up on paper work.
Admin girl: Oh, okay.
Boss: Why?
Admin girl: Because when you leave early I normally give you 10 minutes’ headway and then sneak out myself.
Boss: Ugh, just go already.
Brisbane
Australia
