Boss: There’s nothing like walking to put the newspapers behind the circulation desk and looking out towards the front and having the first thing you see be the word ‘penis.’
Library
Richmond, Virginia
Boss: There’s nothing like walking to put the newspapers behind the circulation desk and looking out towards the front and having the first thing you see be the word ‘penis.’
Library
Richmond, Virginia
Boss: Let’s get things set up. Let’s move the mouse.
Bethesda, Maryland
Lieutenant: I can’t wait to get my hands on your package and give it a good scrubbing.
Oak Harbor, Washington
Boss: … So I said, ‘Two words: Go fuck yourself.’
Employee: Three words, boss.
Boss: Whatever.
Hadera
Israel
Overheard by: SmR
Manager: It gets really cold in our office. I haven’t figured out the reason yet, because I’m not a physicist. I think it has something to do with the air conditioning coming on.
California
Boss on phone with lawyer: Last year? What? I don’t remember last year. Hell, I hardly remember yesterday, let alone last year… Can’t we just make something up?
Pearl District
Portland, Oregon
Manager to self, while cleaning store’s sign: Scrubbing the N, I’m scrubbing the N… Cleaning a T, I clean the T, that’s right… Scrubbing the A, I’m scrubbing the A… [Reaches through the center hole of the A.] Scrubbing the A-hole, cleaning out the A-hole… Wait…
Valley View Mall
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Amused newbie
Service manager: We are not here to motivate employees. We are here to make them do their jobs.
Mavis Road
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
European boss: Okay, James* — make reservations for us at the Mayflower.
American lab member #1: What? The Mayflower?
European boss: Yes, isn’t that what we decided?
American lab member #1: You mean the Wildflower?
European boss: Yeah, the Mayflower.
American lab member #2: The Wildflower, not the Mayflower.
European boss: Right, right. Wait… What is the Mayflower? Oh, yeah, that boat.
Clinical Sciences research building
St. Louis, Missouri
