Female peon: Linda*, I heard you are on a diet again!
Linda: Why? D’you have a diet?
Female peon: No, I am just clarifying. This way when I see you eat certain things, I can remind you that you are on a diet.
New York City, New York
Female peon: Linda*, I heard you are on a diet again!
Linda: Why? D’you have a diet?
Female peon: No, I am just clarifying. This way when I see you eat certain things, I can remind you that you are on a diet.
New York City, New York
Client: She said she was looking for a pen.
Attorney: And the pen was under her desk?
Client: Yes, and she’s a pack rat, and everything in the world is under her desk…
Attorney: And she got stuck that way?
Client: Yes, and we had to call security so they could drag her out by her ankles…
Attorney: I hope that was a really nice pen.
Kern County Superior Court
Bakersfield, California
Overheard by: Frazzled lawyer
Editor: I really like Ethiopian food.
Publisher: Melanie* gained 10 pounds when she was in Africa.
Sparks Street
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Office lady: I thought I was overweight — turns out I was just full of shit!
Elden Street
Herndon, Virginia
Fat male boss: So, how are you feeling these days?
Slim, seven-months-pregnant admin assistant: Pretty good, but my back is starting to hurt a little from the 17 pounds I’ve gained.
Fat male boss: You know, you’re going to want to watch that. That weight isn’t easy to take off once you’ve put it on.
Zeeland, Michigan
Overheard by: So glad I no longer work for him
Hospital aide: Yeah, these pants come in ‘Large’ and ‘Holy shit, you’re fat’!
Hospital
Monroeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The other aide
Heavy male coworker: I really need to go on a diet. My tits are getting way too big.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: thesugarmonster
