Boss: We used to have this character come over to clean out our septic tank and he would be eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at the same time.
Coworker, pushing lunch plate away: I guess I'm through with this.

Seattle, Washington

Female coworker #1: Things would be a lot better if I had milk for my coffee.
Femail coworker #2: Want a little bit of my cream?

Hawthorne NY

Engineer #1: You hear about the names of these meeting rooms? They're named after subatomic particles.
Engineer #2: Ya, we've known about them for a million years.
Engineer #3: Really? A million years?
Engineer #2: I was being facetious, but if you want to be literal about it, the space was always ,there we just built offices around it. So yes, they have been there for millions of years.

Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia

Office guy: Do you hear that sound? Do you hear it? That's the sound of my soul being sucked out of my body every time we go over these reports.
Accounting gal: Yeah, but this one…

Seattle, Washington

Female Medical Records clerk, in thick German accent: It's so fucking hot in here. But I used to have a problem with sweating a lot when I lived in Germany, too. I think I have too much testosterone.

Hospital
Temple, Texas

Overheard by: PuppsMcGee

Female coworker: Somebody's poor vagina. It's gonna collapse on her!

Raleigh, North Carolina

Resident with dementia: I was going to ask if you had heard anything from my mother, but then I remembered she was dead.

Nursing Home
South Carolina

Overheard by: Dana