Salesperson on phone: "hi, this is (salesperson name). Did I ever tell you my grandmother passed away last april?"
Salisbury, MD
Salesperson on phone: "hi, this is (salesperson name). Did I ever tell you my grandmother passed away last april?"
Salisbury, MD
Receptionist #1: And then she pricks her finger and drips the blood in my mouth…
Receptionist #2: And that's how you were resuscitated!?!
Health Club
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Kevin Colbert
"why do they package pop tarts in metal? Is that safe? My legs aren't coated in metal."
this was an actual quote!
Elgin, IL
Suit, proudly on cell: I even found a gold tooth that fell outta his mouth and I sold it for cash.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Amanda
Prof: Questions, comments, concerns, snide remarks, songs, poems, eloquent discourses on the topic of your choice? No? Good.
Economics Class, East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Student worker: Yeah, he's mostly a vegetarian. (pause) I mean, like, he can't afford meat, so…
Davis, California
Recruiter selling a prospective employee on the company: We don’t consider them “departments” so much as “teams”, because the…uh, flow…rolls…from one to the other…
Eisenhower Parkway
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: …and I thought that ‘rolled downhill’…
Admin assistant to partner: Enough with the accountant's version of internet porn. Can't you google boobies like a normal man instead of governmental auditing standards?
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: okey dokey
Temp: “do you realize how poor the odds were for each of us…”
Secretary: “to win the lottery?”
Temp: “no.”
Secretary: “oh. When you said ‘odds’ I thought…”
Temp: “odds can apply to more than the lottery.”
Secretary: “hm. Well if I were a millionaire, I’d buy a bathtub full of b. C.’s best chronic and – after rolling around in it – smoke it all and run around the city.”
1040 West Georgia Street, Vancouver, BC
Overheard by: Frida
White attorney,at deposition: Are there any activities you used to do before the accident that you can no longer do?
Trinidadian woman, 55: I can’t get my freak on anymore.
White attorney, smiling: Remember, I have to report this to a bunch of other white people. How often did you used to freak before the accident?
Trinidadian woman: Oh, I went to dance clubs all the time. Plus I used to go hiking all the time.
White attorney: And by “hiking,” you mean walking on nature trails, right? I mean, that’s not some hip-hop slang, right?
Trinidadian woman: Yeah, just walking up mountains and stuff.
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
