Child in stall: Mommy, where does that hole go?
Mother: It’s not a hole, it’s a pipe, and it goes to where the child-catcher lives. Now hurry up!
601 West Peace Street
Raleigh, North Carolina
Child in stall: Mommy, where does that hole go?
Mother: It’s not a hole, it’s a pipe, and it goes to where the child-catcher lives. Now hurry up!
601 West Peace Street
Raleigh, North Carolina
Blonde admiring coworker’s haircut: He did a good job. I like that cut a lot.
Redhead: Thanks! I like it, too. It just feels a little greasy ’cause of all that stuff he uses.
Blonde: Ew. Yeah. I hate Pompeii.
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: goofopet
Coworker: How’s your son?
Boss: He’s sick all the time, but other than that he’s fine.
201 North Craig Street, Suite 500
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: revho13
Man: Oooh, whatever was on my finger tasted good! I wonder what it was…
Dallas, Texas
Boss: So, how was everybody’s weekend?
Mother of the year, proudly: I got so drunk at my daughter’s sixth birthday party that I passed out on the couch at three p.m. I think my husband kept an eye on all the kids, but either way, everyone was gone when I woke up at 5:30.
Lebanon, New Jersey
Overheard by: she was gone, too, from the sound of it.
Woman: … And then he bit my nipple so hard it started to bleed.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: not a deaf waitress
Coworker: Oh, look! He got you more flowers! Wow, he’s really pursuing you!
Coworker using online dating service: I know! But I told him I wouldn’t go out with him until the divorce is final.
700 East Street
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Overhearer
Cube worker #1: I think I found the secret project.
Cube worker #2: Mine?
Cube worker #1: You have a secret project?
Cube worker #2: Uh, no.
390 North Robert Street
St. Paul, Minnesota
Sales guy #1: If I said it was hot in here, would anyone argue with me?
Sales guy #2: No.
Sales guy #3: It is pretty warm in here.
Sales guy #1: I was gonna say… It feels like an attic in here.
Sales guy #2: I would say it feels like the trunk of my car, but I don’t want to go there.
Assistant: Hmmm… If you said that, we would be obligated to ask how you know what the trunk of your–
Sales guy #2: –Yeah, I don’t want to go there.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Male coworker to deskmate: I’m still waiting for Emmitt Smith and Jesus to accept my MySpace friendship.
466 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Ro
