Worker bee: Are you new here?
Temp: Oh, I’m just temping.
Worker bee: Do you like it?
Temp: Yeah, I’m really enjoying it here.
Worker bee: It’s so casual.
Temp: Yeah, I’m glad I can just wear jeans.
Worker bee: You could wear shorts if you wanted. I mean, I don’t know if you wear shorts, but people here do, so you totally could. If you wanted.
6300 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Heavy male coworker: I really need to go on a diet. My tits are getting way too big.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: thesugarmonster
Female office worker: I think I like this purse more than my Coach purse. It fits more stuff. I could fit a burrito in here! Actually, I do have a burrito in here.
350 Los Ranchitos Road
San Rafael, California
Female analyst: Actually, my parents are in town this weekend. I think we’re going to go see the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Male analyst: Oh! The Dead Sea Scrolls! You mean… the band?
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Bored Actuarial Intern
Office grunt: Now if I say something tastes like shit, I’ll have a frame of reference.
Hyde Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: A.D.
Summer associate to managing partner: … And then my mom told my date, ‘The monkey can play in the trees, but not in the bush.’
Century City, California
Medical dispatcher giving CPR instructions: Now straddle his lips with your hips…
San Jose, California
Overheard by: firechick
Boss: The nice thing is, we’re no longer people who care!
202 West 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Suit on cell: So, my division is like an aborigine, and their division is like a rhinoceros.
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: Spittake
Coworker #1 on phone: No, no, I would never say anything to anyone about that.
Coworker #2, as other hangs up: About what?
Coworker #1: Don’t worry, you already know.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Doesn’t know
