Lady customer: I need a phone that’ll work all year — all three hundred sixty-two days.
Electronics store
California
Overheard by: Stephen
Lady customer: I need a phone that’ll work all year — all three hundred sixty-two days.
Electronics store
California
Overheard by: Stephen
Crazy woman at front desk: I will not be a slave to my teeth!
1685 Main Street
Santa Monica, California
Secretary #1: Here, I’ll trade you dark chocolate for my chocolate.
Secretary #2: No, I like dark chocolate.
Secretary #1: Why does the white man have to take all the dark chocolate? That’s the last piece of dark chocolate, and I’m dark so I should eat it! You ate all the white chocolate last week because you’re white, and now you’re going to have all the dark chocolate, too, just like the white man does to everything!
Secretary #2, eating dark chocolate: It’s all mine now. Look at this! [Opens mouth.]Secretary #1, muttering to herself and walking away: Just like the white man…
11330 Pierce Street
Riverside, California
Overheard by: Kevin
IT help desk: Mine are nothing like yours. Yours get so fluffy when I put them in my mouth.
500 Howard Street
San Francisco, California
Sales manager: Jack* didn’t show up to work today. He probably went to an interview at another company.
VP: Is this the guy with the shoes?
Sales manager: Yep.
VP: Any dude wearing white shoes and a white belt is somewhat suspect…
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Smiths
Manager: It gets really cold in our office. I haven’t figured out the reason yet, because I’m not a physicist. I think it has something to do with the air conditioning coming on.
California
Defense attorney at deposition: … And before the accident, about how many times per month were you intimate with your wife?
Plaintiff: Um, probably upper 20s.
Defense attorney, incredulous: Upper 20s?!
Plaintiff: Yeah. My wife is Latin.
9th Street
Sacramento, California
NASA intern: Okay, kids, let’s put on our pirate costumes and play spaceman!
Research center
California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl
Admin: We received a brochure for a fog and bubble machine in the mail today… This is cool! Why are they sending us this?
Coworker: Oh, Alan* saw that at the trade show and wanted it. If we had a bubble party, would you show up in a bikini?
Admin: Of course! We’ll file this under ‘Awesome.’
San Luis Obispo, California
Overheard by: blueangelrock
Garbage man to another: I was driving a truck on the on-ramp and I seen a naked guy runnin’ alongside the freeway. I yelled at him, ‘Yeah! Way to go! Naked people are cool!’ It wasn’t like it gave me a chub or anything.
Garbage company
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: the dispatcher whose heard it all
