Advice

Serious suit on cell: If he does that then he’s going to have to give up the hookers and drugs, and I am not kidding.

San Jacinto Boulevard
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Going Into Politics?

Little kid: Hey, you want to come to my birthday party? It’s all about hunting and killing and stuff.
TA: Um, I’ll think about it.
Little kid: Listen, your mom isn’t your boss anymore.

Sherwood Street
Missoula, Montana

Overheard by: Casey

US sales manager in teleconference: We gotta let the elephant be the hot dog right outta the shoe.

5 Thomas Holt Drive
Sydney
Australia

Maintenance guy: You gotta get your key out real quick or they’re gonna swing an ax.

420 Western Avenue
Albany, New York