Massachusetts

Office girl on the phone with boyfriend: So, my therapist says that I’m doing a great job. He said I could be the poster girl for mentally ill people who are successful because I take my meds, go to work, have a healthy relationship and stuff, you know? And I was totally flattered and agreeing with him, but then I thought, ‘You know, my parents are proud of me and stuff, but they wouldn’t want the world knowing I’m psycho, and it would probably embarrass them a little.’ So my doctor looks at me and says, ‘Um, you know there’s not really a poster girl, right?’

214 Lincoln Street
Allston, Massachusetts

Secretary on phone: No, I haven’t been well lately. I’ve had a bout of shingles all summer. From my breast bone to my hip, all down my right side… Shingles! No, shingles! Do you know what that is? It’s herpes! All down my right side!

1 Beacon Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Sales agent, about Arab Muslim client on phone: Jesus Christ, is it those people with the capes again?!

745 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Girl: Did signing the Articles of Confederation makes us confederates?

Quinsigamond Community College
Worcester, Massachusetts

Female coworker: Do you think you can have your nipples removed? I mean, I would never do it, but for a man? He doesn’t need them. They don’t breastfeed, so they’re totally useless. I would be disturbed if I ever saw a man lactating… Yeah, this is why I shouldn’t think.

Doughnut shop
Quincy, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Disturbed Coworker

Coworker #1: I wonder who’ll get the Pfizer account…
Coworker #2: I hope I do! I love reading about erections!

Fort Point
Boston, Massachusetts

Lieutenant: You work for a law enforcement agency, not a pirate ship!
Employee with sideburns: Sir?

Columbus Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts

Male peon #1: Does anybody want anything from the vending machine?
Female peon: Bring me back some Jesus!
Male peon #2: I’ll just take a ginger ale.

Boston, Massachusetts

Trashy coworker: Don’t ya hate when you’re on the rag and your husband rolls over in the night with a boner, wantin’ to poke ya?

Franklin Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Violet White

Clinician: Can you call the ER to tell them that this patient cannot be moved due to an infection?
Admin assistant, looking at chart: How did he get it in his butt?!

Varnum Avenue
Lowell, Massachusetts