Communications manager to public relations specialist about sex toy ban in Alabama: Well, we really can’t control the situation if someone chooses to take one of our novelty items and stimulate their genitals with it.
Sex toy company
Virginia
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Manager: Hey, you got a sec?
Developer: What’s up?
Manager: I’m trying to figure out how much to charge the client for that new feature. How hard would it be for you to add it?
Developer, smirking: I can do it in 10 minutes… with my dick.
Manager: Sooo… about five hundred bucks then.
543 Richmond Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing new guy
Boss: How long do I still have to wait for those reports?
Worker: Steve* is doing the final results. [Both stare at Steve.]Steve, coming out of a reverie: A polar bear is as tall as an elephant!
New York, New York
Overheard by: WTF
Lawyer: No, no, men can’t touch women, but women can touch men.
Paralegal: Oh, okay. Didn’t know.
Lawyer: Yeah, but whatever.
Law office
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Pointless Temp
CEO: Oh, that’s the guy with the gaggle of kids, right? The ugly ones.
Project coordinator: They’re not all ugly! The little one, Erica*, is cute!
CEO: She just hasn’t grown into her ugly yet.
Goderich, Ontario
Canadia
Boss: You know, every day it gets harder and harder to underestimate you.
Innovation Drive
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin
Big boss, after company-wide sales meeting: Are there any questions?
Employee #1: Yeah — how come all of a sudden the soda machine only gives back one quarter from a dollar?
Big boss: How much?
Employee #1: Just one quarter.
Big boss: Did it used to give more?
Employee #1: Yes, I used to get two back.
Employee #2: Soda is 75 cents.
Employee #1: I’ve been here for 13 years and it’s been the same — I always get two quarters back.
Employee #2: I’ve been here for two years and it’s been 75 cents for at least that long. Maybe the machine was broken.
Employee #1: No, it wasn’t broken!
Big boss: You have to stop now.
233 Spring Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: get me out of here
Boss lady: I just don’t think thong underwear is that attractive. I mean, maybe if you’re 12 years old and tight…
Assistant: I don’t think a 12-year-old in thong underwear is attractive.
Boss lady: Well, when you’re 12, you’re tight.
Burbank, California
Boss, about former employee: She smelled like my grandmother’s underwear drawer.
Underling: Do you spend a lot of time in your grandmother’s underwear drawer?
Boss: Well, she died a while ago…
1100 Hamilton Court
Menlo Park, California
Assistant: Keith*, Melanie’s* on the phone.
Keith: Who is that?
Assistant: Your wife.
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
