Earnest cube rat: If it’s ready on time, it will be ready. But if it’s not ready on time, then it won’t be ready.
14455 North Hayden Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cubey McCuberton
Earnest cube rat: If it’s ready on time, it will be ready. But if it’s not ready on time, then it won’t be ready.
14455 North Hayden Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cubey McCuberton
20-ish woman peon #1: So, I started my cleanse this week–
20-ish woman peon #2: –Wait, are we talking about poop again? Why are we always talking about poop? Aren’t we a little young for this? [Others stare blankly.] Well, I am strangely comfortable with it. [Others keep staring, so #2 leaves, griping] I hate Oprah.
44th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Cube rat poking head over cube wall: I was just banging you. Did you feel that?
8900 Raintree Drive
Scottsdale, Arizona
Coder #1: I just can’t work in these pants!
Coder #2, raising hand: Seconded!
Boss #1: No! Motion fails!
Boss #2: Indeed — pants remain a workplace requirement!
7255 East Hampton Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Receptionist answering phone: XYZ Law Firm*. How can I help you?
Assistant, on the phone: Hey, it’s Kevin*. While I’m buying supplies, can I get myself some candy?
Receptionist: No, just get what’s on the list.
Assistant: But last time I got candy and everyone liked it.
Receptionist: No, no candy.
Assistant: Okay. Um, about the light bulbs… Did you want me to buy frosted or clear ones?
Receptionist: I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. Just get the clear.
Assistant: Yeah… Um, no. They don’t have any clear.
2223 East Speedway Boulevard
Tucson, Arizona
IT guy: There’s a spectrum between those who are completely illiterate and those who are completely literate, and the people who write the news are somewhere in-between.
Tonopah, Arizona
Overheard by: AndyDan
Chipper corporate trainer: You put an extra ‘-umph’ at the end of ‘tri-‘, and what do you get? Triumph!
4635 East Elwood Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Female grunt #1 looking around: Ramone* has them.
Female grunt #2, holding plastic jacks in hand: Has what?
Female grunt #1: My balls. Ramone has my balls.
19th Street and Deer Valley Road
Arizona
CSR: I need, like, four more arms and three more eyeballs. That way I could do more than one thing at a time.
Tempe, Arizona
