Front desk girl: What was that thing in the Lost Objects box?
Manager: A penis. Huge one.
Front desk girl: The maid found it in a room?
Manager: In the fridge.
Hotel
Montréal
Canadia
Overheard by: Grossed Out Customer
Front desk girl: What was that thing in the Lost Objects box?
Manager: A penis. Huge one.
Front desk girl: The maid found it in a room?
Manager: In the fridge.
Hotel
Montréal
Canadia
Overheard by: Grossed Out Customer
Worker bee #1: So, how did your party go this weekend?
Worker bee #2: It went good other than my husband didn’t help very much. When I was getting everything ready, guess what he was doing?
Worker bee #1: What?
Worker bee #2: I started looking for him everywhere. Then I decided to look outside, and I caught him in the backyard jacking off.
Burnett Plaza
Ft. Worth, Texas
Guy descending escalator: Every time I pull down my pants I look down and it’s like, ‘Oh! I forgot it was there.’
Pier 70
Seattle, Washington
English teacher: Nice shirt.
Manager: Tell me about it… It’s laundry day.
Italian teacher: Oh god, I hate laundry day. I always run out of underwear and have to wear nothing under my skirt. I’m terrified that the dog will stick his face up my vagina… You know, literally.
Manager: Yeah, I don’t think there is a way to mean that in a non-literal sense.
434 Peixoto Gomide
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: English Teacher #2
Coworker: I bought some new gi-normous pearls — they’re like testicles!
1st Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Zoltarpanaflex
CSR girl: The Gold Gentleman’s Club… That’s where girls strip, right?
Sleazy manager: Yeah, they got real pretty girls there, but they don’t dance long enough! You give them a 20, and they look at you like, ‘What have you done for me lately?’
Quiet guy: They’ve got really good food there on Fridays.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Office Peon
Office grunt: There’s nothing wrong with grandmas… Like you’ve never wanted a GILF!
1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Garbageman on phone: I am calling in sick. I took some Cialis and I have had an erection for more than four hours… Has anyone used that excuse before?
Dispatcher: No, not that I recall.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: dispatcher who has heard it all
