Worker #1: See this article on how ice makes you gain weight?
Worker #2: That’s so true, because if you drop an ice cube in your stomach it has to melt before it can be absorbed.
Staten Island
New York
Worker #1: See this article on how ice makes you gain weight?
Worker #2: That’s so true, because if you drop an ice cube in your stomach it has to melt before it can be absorbed.
Staten Island
New York
Friendly worker guy: Hey, you guys — I just took one sip of this energy drink and I don’t really want it. Does anyone want it? [No one answers. A few minutes later] Hey, you guys — there is a lot of turkey on this sandwich. Does anyone want some?
Normal worker guy: Hey, you guys — I’ve had this peanut M&M in my mouth for four days. Does anyone want it?
12th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: social
Managing editor: Our system’s down until 2:50.
Reporter: To the bars, then!
Other reporters: Yay!
Editor-in-chief: Why the hell not?
400 East Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
50-ish lady peon: Oh, honey, you don’t have to lift those boxes!
20-ish lady peon: No, it’s okay, I really don’t mind. They’re not very heavy.
50-ish lady peon: But that shows on a woman later in life!
20-ish lady peon: Shows? What do you mean?
50-ish lady peon: Well, you know, makes you big… Like the She-Hulk, or that hermaphrodite wrestler! You don’t want people thinking you’re not a woman, do you?
University of North Carolina, 208 Raleigh Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Female worker to another: I was gonna show you something. You wanna go to the ladies’ room?
Seneca Street
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: MonkeyPantaloons
Female grunt #1 looking around: Ramone* has them.
Female grunt #2, holding plastic jacks in hand: Has what?
Female grunt #1: My balls. Ramone has my balls.
19th Street and Deer Valley Road
Arizona
Slutty coworker: Oh, I just joined the most fantastic group in MySpace, XYZ Friends*. It’s incredible. You don’t even have to look for men — you just join and men fly all over you.
Snarky coworker: You flaming parakeet.
São Paulo
Brazil
Grunt #1: Shit, the bombs aren’t in the bags.
Grunt #2: Awww, fuck it. Let’s go get a hamburger.
New York, New York
Overheard by: Thrax
Editor to coworker whose loud text alert goes off in meeting: Matt*, when your crotch cries out, we all stop and take notice.
Bay Avenue
Stafford, New Jersey
Overheard by: inothernews
Secretary: Does it involve undergarments? If so, I’m not there.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
