Illinois

60-ish suit in Cubs jacket on cell: I’m on the bus right now. I’m going to the Cubs game. Well, I just left Dad, and I gotta say, it doesn’t look too good. They’re feeding him through a stomach tube and they’ve got him on a drip. You know, he had that quadruple bypass a couple of years ago and he’s got diabetes now… He’s been unconscious most of the time when I visit him, and… Yeah, well, don’t wish me good luck. The Cubbies are the ones who need it!

Clarke Street bus
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: priorities schmiorities

Grunt #1 on phone: They said that I was down there for one of two reasons — to buy drugs or find a prostitute.
Grunt #2, after #1 hangs up: I don’t want to know. As long as it was billable…
Grunt #1: What’s the task code for hiring a prostitute?

180 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: in tears

Boss: You shouldn’t throw glass stones at a house!

155 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Peon #1: So, how’s that burn on your arm?
Peon #2: It kind of looks like prime rib.

1750 East Golf Road
Schaumburg, Illinois

Overheard by: Emily

Lawyer on phone: Well, if you’re a girl, I must be the queen’s bimbo.

Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois