Manager #1, to temp: So, listen — you’ll be in charge of the department today while we’re at an all-staff meeting. But ain’t no cameras here, so you can use this space to roller skate while we’re gone.
Manager #2: Yeah, or stand on the desk.
Manager #3: Or take a doody.
15th Street
Washington, DC
Old man peon looking at photograph: This is dated 1873 — a year before Pabst won the ribbon!
Washington, DC
Senior officer: The event went really well. The speaker was fantastic.
Mid-level officer: Oh, who was the speaker?
Senior officer, after long pause: I gotta go.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Boss, during staff meeting: Does anyone have anything to add?
Coworker: Yeah, I just wanted to say that–
Boss: –Man, this coffee tastes weird! [Shrugs and continues drinking.]
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Lady employee to friend: Looks like we’re both going solo together tonight.
Club, 815 V Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Matt
Vet examining dog with anal abscess: All this dog needs is an hour alone with its butt and its tongue.
Washington, DC
