Senior officer: The event went really well. The speaker was fantastic.
Mid-level officer: Oh, who was the speaker?
Senior officer, after long pause: I gotta go.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Senior officer: The event went really well. The speaker was fantastic.
Mid-level officer: Oh, who was the speaker?
Senior officer, after long pause: I gotta go.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Boss, during staff meeting: Does anyone have anything to add?
Coworker: Yeah, I just wanted to say that–
Boss: –Man, this coffee tastes weird! [Shrugs and continues drinking.]
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Lady employee to friend: Looks like we’re both going solo together tonight.
Club, 815 V Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Matt
Vet examining dog with anal abscess: All this dog needs is an hour alone with its butt and its tongue.
Washington, DC
Office weirdo: Most people don’t realize that mermaids actually have sharp teeth — similar to a shark. They also eat fish… So they have really bad breath.
Washington, DC
Account manager: Um, it’s called the UK. Sometimes it’s a country, and sometimes it’s not.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: When is it not?
