Customer Service

Possibly from Your Verbal Diarrhea

CSR: Do you like my dress? The website called it a muumuu, but I call it a dress. I don’t like dresses, but I wanted to wear one today. Did you know I don’t like silk dresses? They make me feel naked, and I don’t like feeling naked except when I’m naked — like when I’m naked in the shower… I ordered this dress from a website I found at work, and I got it in a box a week later. I don’t think it should have been in a box, because the box could have been damaged and then my dress would have been ruined, because boxes don’t protect anything.
Annoyed coworker: Um, you have a stain on your muumuu.

Coralville, Iowa

And the Bar’s Set Pretty High in Australia

CSR #1, after moving offices: Does the mouse get plugged into the monitor or the computer?
CSR #2: [Stares in disbelief and silence, and then starts laughing.]CSR #1: I can’t believe I just said that. That’s the most stupid question I’ve ever heard!

Perth
Australia

Relax — That’s Just Canadian for “Good Morning”

Overworked CSR: Sir, at any point in our conversation today did I provide you with my name?
Customer: No.
Overworked CSR: Good — fuck you [hangs up].

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Probably Why She Has Problems Landing the Plane

CSR #1: She just has a hard time with things, you know? Being deaf and partially blind and all…
CSR #2: Well, that can be hard.

Austin, Texas

Are You Immune to Postal Death Rays? We’re Hiring!

Girl: One stamp please. [Crusty mail lady puts Christmas stamp on envelope.] Oh, ummm, does it need to be that one? [Crusty mail lady shoots death rays with eyes.] But they’re Jewish! [More death rays.] But I’m asking them for a job! [Crusty mail lady rips off Christmas stamp and replaces with flower stamp.] Ummm…
Crusty mail lady: Fifty-one cents.

Post office
Michigan

Overheard by: Jen

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist