England

Programmer: Does anyone want a free, almost clean keyboard?
Tech support peon: Not until you tell us what you just ‘almost cleaned’ off of it.
Programmer: Jeff*.
Tech support peon: Uhhh, no thanks.

Islington, London
England

Worker #1: She is too hot.
Worker #2: Do you want to touch her where she wees?
Worker #3: I want to touch her while she wees.

Norwich
England