Student Worker #1: Remember the time Daniel* slept with a 38-year-old woman?
Student Worker #2: How old were you?
Daniel*: 20-ish
Student Worker #1: Wasn't that really… well, flappy and loose?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Miss Mandy

Coworker #1: So we have to guess the celebrity you saw?
Coworker #2: He already told me.
Sales guy: I haven't seen any of the movies he's in…
Coworker #2: You haven't? I've seen one.
Coworker #1: Okay, tell me just one of the movies.
Sales guy: Have you seen the animated movie of Hansel and Gretel?
Coworker #1: What! (pause) Ugh… Okay, okay… Wait, have YOU seen this animated movie of Hansel and Gretel?
Sales guy: Well, I'm asking YOU if YOU'VE seen it.
Coworker#1: This is madness….

Charlotte, North Carolina

Coworker: I kept waiting for him to hang up on me. I gave him several opportunities.

North Dakota

Coworker #1: 75 dollars?! for two hours?
Coworker #2: I'd do almost anything for 75 bucks if it only took two hours.

Brookfield, Wisconsin

Male coworker: You want to split this with me?
Female coworker: No, I can't. I'm fasting this week.
Male coworker: Oh, you mean practicing your anorexia?
Female coworker: Um… yes.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: cuatros

Employee #1: So your husband got moved to a new penitentiary?
Manager: Very funny. He's been out for several years. He's a great guy, I love him a lot.
Employee #1: We know you do. (raises eyebrow)
Employee #2: What? How?
Employee #1: She told us yesterday that she likes to wake her husband up with blowjobs.
Manager: How else did you think I woke him up?

McDonald's
Connecticut

Lady customer: Excuse me, I'm looking for stackable plastic drawers and they're not in the home organization section.
Ikea employee, standing next to manager: Oh, we don't really have those, but we DO have these other things that might work for you… (manager walks away) Yeah, we don't have 'em. Go to Target.

Ikea
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: LC

Male coworker in cafeteria: So it's only guys that jerk off then?

Brussels
Belgium

Male clerk: I've been spoiled by my wife, getting to watch Lifetime all the time. I don't even go out to movies anymore; I just watch the ones they have on Lifetime.

Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Coworker on phone: My boss takes me into his office and shows me his wood.

Dallas, Texas