Cube neighbor on phone with IT help desk: I turned off my pc last night and I turned it on this morning and the screen is black, nothing is showing up.
IT: Is your monitor on?
Cube neighbor: Yes.
IT: Turn it off.
Cube neighbor: Oh, wow, it just started working! I wonder what happened?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Lady L
Female employee: It's okay, you can just log into me.
Male employee: Wait… are we still talking about your e-mail here?
Denver Colorado
Overheard by: No foreplay or anything, huh?
90-something man #1: I'm taking care of myself, I've been eating Lean Cuisine.
90-something man #2: You've got a worse heart than a girl who went in to prostitution at age six.
Leesburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Wait, what?
Patient: So my braces are coming off in two months?
Orthodontist: Yes, provided your account is paid in full.
Patient: What the fuck? You're holding my teeth hostage?
Charlotte, North Carolina
French-canadian lady, entering building wearing bulky winter gear: Hi, Jean-francois.
Jean-francois: Oh! Hi Marie-claude, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.
Ottawa
Canadia
Annoying coworker on the phone with 9-month-old son in extremely loud, high-pitched tone:
Hiiiii!!! Babeeee!!! Baaaaabbbbeeeee!!! Johnny! Johnny? Hi, baaaabbeeee!!! (pause) Baaabbeee??? Hi! Are you being a good boy? Johnnnnnnnyyyy!!! Babeeee! (eventually hangs up when baby disconnects the phone)
Sacramento, California
Lady #1 in restroom: Let's face it. Our homeless man has died. At least he doesn't stink and we don't have to feed him.
Lady #2 in restroom: That's true. (pause) Lucky us, huh?
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Slim coworker: Yo, there's a guy handing out free tacos outside!
Obese coworker: No way! How are they?
Slim coworker: I didn't have any, I had just finished eating when I saw the guy.
Obese coworker: I don't get it. What part of “free” and “tacos” don't you understand? (runs out to see if taco guy is still there)
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Jamesie Isms
Advisor: You should see the size of my banana!
Assistant: I don't think I want to…
Advisor: But it's so big!
Assistant: Oh! You're right, it's huge!
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: sexually harrassed
Guy to another: She's got her head shoved in a bush.
Union Square
New York City, New York
