Warehouse manager leaving cubicle #1, to cubicle #2: Just so you know, we were not whispering.
Cubicle #2 dweller: I have my headphones on, I don't care what you do.
Warehouse manager: We weren't talking about you either.
Cubicle #2 dweller: It's okay if you were. I get talked about a lot. Was it good?
(warehouse manager ponders)
Cubicle #2 dweller: Not good like positive, but gossip fulfilling?
Warehouse manager: Oh! (pause) It was very positive.
Cubicle #2 dweller: Really? Well. Well, I was not expecting that.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Coworker, on phone with girlfriend: By the way, thanks for grinding on my boss' wife last night.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Coworker #1: You like my Kermit the frog impression?
Coworker #2: No, I have a headache.
Coworker #1: Yeah, I get headaches sometimes because of the brain injury I had in 2007.
Coworker #2: That explains a lot.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Coworker #1, trying to identify characters on SpongeBob crackers: What about this one? The monster.
Coworker #2: Oh yeah, the one-eyed one! He's evil, isn't he?
Coworker #1: I dunno–we should google it.
Coworker #3, laughing: Yeah, go ahead and google “one-eyed evil monster,” see what kind of results you get!

Baltimore, Maryland

Clever female office drone, seeing torrential rain as she leaves: Should I wait for the rain to stop or risk getting wet?
Stupid female office drone: You could always put a paper bag over your head.
Clever female office drone: Thanks.

Lancashire
England

Coworker #1, talking about the rain: We're going to get another five inches!
Coworker #2 : Where are we going to put it?

Hawthorne, New York

Custodian, giving new guy orientation: And these are the restrooms for this end of this floor… (points at female staff) And this is the *nicest* lady…

Museum
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Aw gee shucks

Coworker to another: It just means I'll be clock-watching, time wise.

Leicester
England

Overheard by: In what other sense….???

Female coworker #1: Hey, Sue*, you want some chocolate nuts?
Female coworker #2: Only a couple.
Female coworker #1, snickering: That's wrong.
Female coworker #2: What?

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Nurse to another: My box is never ending.

Hospital
Ontario
Canadia