Coworker, about another: She's smart as a doorknob, smart as a button.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Public Transit Bureaucrat
Coworker, about another: She's smart as a doorknob, smart as a button.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Public Transit Bureaucrat
IT on phone: Are you sure you are plugged into the right site? (pause) That just sounds wrong. It shouldn't make those types of noises upon insertion.
Manhattan, New York
Woman #1: 2012 is the year of the dragon.
Man #1: My oldest son was born in the year of the rabbit, and my youngest son is a snake.
Woman #2: And I'm a cock!
Richmond, Virginia
Secretary: Have you ever watched Mythbusters?
Coworker: Yeah, and you know, I've been thinking about blowing up things a lot lately. My friend just married a pyrotechnic guy.
Secretary: Yeah, you can get hours of entertainment out of that stuff.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Cubicle 2.0
Accountant: I'm headed for the bridge.
Secretary: To jump off?
Accountant: Yep. If you see my shoes, you'll know I'm gone.
Secretary: Why would you take off your shoes?
Accountant: Well, I won't need 'em where I'm going!
Nashville, Tennessee
Coworker to another: For God's sake, man! It's poetry!! You can't take a beautiful, profound, poetic and tender expression about two people sharing the taste of the perineum and analyze it like that! You might as well ask why Romeo didn't bother checking to see if Juliet had a pulse.
Manhattan, New York
VP: So, the event is going to be on the USS Constitution in Baltimore's Inner Harbor. The top deck holds about 125 people, and we can't put any people on the lower deck because that's where the cannons are.
Event planner: Where do they land the planes?
VP: What?
Event planner: Isn't it an aircraft carrier?
VP: Um, no.
Los Angeles, California
Trainee: Well, I'll see you Friday
Employee #1: No, I'm off.
Manager: Yeah, me too.
Employee #2: So am I.
Trainee: Whoa, where's the party?
Manager: Your house.
New Milford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Nik
Drone #1: My hairdresser gives the best shampoos. I love the way she massages my head as she's rinsing it out.
Drone #2: Oh, so she gives good head… massages?
Ventura, California
