Cubicle dweller: It's well known that southern California seeks to use the backdoor as much as possible.

Overland Park, Kansas

Employee reading e-mail out loud: At least you are constantly changing your meat. (pause) Oh lord, did I say that out loud?

Itasca, Illinois

Overheard by: You sure did!

Coworker to another: You remember how we had that problem where all of our cancer patients looked like they were dying?

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Coworker #1: That guy is a real butt-licker!
Coworker #2: He's a what?
Coworker #1: You know, a butt-licker. He's always sucking up to management.
Coworker #2: Do you mean brown noser?

Atlanta, Georgia

Nurse: Lou* probably had to use both hands to count inventory on Saturday, huh?
Attendant: Yeah–wouldn't have been so bad, but his idea of using both hands to count means: “one” (holds one hand up) and “two.” (holds other hand up)

Dallas, Texas

Law firm partner #1: The 5th Amendment is a wonderful thing!
Law firm partner #2: Haha, I know… it's so useful!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Harpua

Nurse to another: I'm a superuser and I don't even know how to use it yet.
Tall nurse, walking into room: Oh, are you a superuser? Can you teach me?

Hospital
Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Carina Griggs

Office guy: Can I have one of your tampons?
Office girl: (stunned silence)
Office guy: Stamps! I meant stamps.

Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: Bill

VP: I'd rather have a prostitute wear my shoes than a rich woman.

Burbank, California

Overheard by: Urz

Receptionist: The guy from unit #1 is here, he's have lightening problems.
Apartment handler: LIGHTENING PROBLEMS FROM HIS UNIT?
Receptionist: No, I mean lighting problems.

Real Estate Office
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Not Stepping in Water