Attorney on phone: Look, once one guy gets attacked by a tiger there's going to be a field day, obviously.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Roy

Colleague #1: This friend used to do some karate and box.
Colleague #2: Box? Did he lose some brains?
Colleague #1: No… Well… He's quite conservative, though.

San Rafael, California

Deli manager, very seriously: I think that customer put the cricket in her lettuce. It couldn't have been in there when she was making her salad.
Underling: Well, why not?
Deli manager: You've seen how we do the lettuce. It's all chopped up. This was a whole cricket, not a bunch of little pieces.
Underling: So if we find pieces, can we use them in the hot bar?

Greensboro, North Carolina

Overheard by: sliced turkey

Short manager: Do we need to escalate this issue higher?
Coworker: Escalating to 5'4'' isn't much higher…

Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia

Coworker: I kept seeing on the tv: “searching for satellite, searching for satellite.” I said: “what you mean searching for satellite; it's in the front yard!”

5th Ave
Manhattan, New York

CSR: Mr. Smith*, I think you have a foot fetish!

Keene, New Hampshire

Editor #1: I didn't have any of those charges on my card.
Editor #2: Huh. Wonder what I did to warrant a $700 charge from the hotel.
Editor #1: Well, those cheerleaders you ordered…

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Just the assistant

Boss to underling: Oh, look… there is a hole, it's just filled with chocolate.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: BigGuy

Coworker: Yep. We'll put it in a gold-plated folder.

Dimondale, Michigan

Coworker to office: I'm sorry, I need to leave this Republican convention.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: the other donkey in the room