Office worker #1: I've been sweating a lot, I need to eat something salty.
Office worker #2: Why, does salt make you not sweat?

Portland, Oregon

Office lady, freaking out after drinking milk two days after expiration date: Oh god, am I going to get sick? I threw out the coffee, but I just ate the oatmeal. For now I'm fine. I'm feeling okay. I think I'm okay. This is all I need right now, to get sick.
Smart office friend: Isn't it good until 7 days past the date? I'm pretty sure it is.
Office girl, freaking out: Really? I didn't know that…

Manhattan, New York

Engineer, about supervisor: He wasn't devious, he wouldn't stab you in the back. He'd come right up to you and stab you in the face.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Arfnotz

Office girl #1: I hate the IT dept.
Office girl #2: Yeah, I know, let's go catch a movie this Friday.
Office girl #1: They should make a movie about the IT dept.
Office girl #2: I am not a horror fan.

Rockville, Maryland

Female coworker: So I figured out the cause of my repeated pink eye…
Male coworker: Is it because you use poop as a facial moisturizer? I know it's real moisturizing and all, but you gotta stop doing that!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: WD40

Stall dweller: I'm not touching it while my hands are dirty. (sound of the toilet flushing)

TV Studio
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Tail end of the conversation

Clued-out manager on speaker phone with office door wide open: Hi, can I please speak to Mr D*?
Inaudible CSR on speaker phone: (mumbles over the phone)
Clued-out manager: It's personal.
Inaudible CSR: (more mumbling on the phone)
Clued-out manager, raising voice: It's personal.
Inaudible CSR: (more mumbling on the phone)
Clued-out manager, yelling: I said it's personal!
(office staff look over at manager's office)

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Cue

Older female coworker: So I'll be out all next week. My husband I are going camping up the mountains with this other couple we're friends with.
Young male coworker: Oh, so this is a swingers vacation?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Office guy, returning from lunch: Did someone take a bite out of my chocolate bar while I was gone?
Office girl, sitting behind him: Your suspicions are correct. Yes, I ate your candy bar. Yes, I bought a new one, bit it down with my teeth and put it back in here. Go ahead and eat it though, it's perfectly safe.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Myklstarr

Word processor: So I had to choose between buying drugs and buying food….

Manhattan, New York