Admin: What's the Japanese mafia called?
Senior manager: Yakuza. (pause) Why, do they have a table and brochures set up in the lobby?

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Receptionitis

Suit on phone: May I please speak with Bob? (pause) Bob… Bob… B as in bob, o, b as in bob!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Medical director: Every time I blow my nose, I think, 'god, why did I do that? So disgusting.'

Silver Spring, Maryland

Baking dept guy to lady shopper: I'm sorry about that, ma'am, cockroaches rarely ever get into our cookies. Like, almost never. It's rare.

Whole Foods Customer Service Line
Atlanta, Georgia

Manager: These have to go up to corporate review on the third floor by this afternoon. I'm so sick of taking it up the ass for those guys.
Coworker #1: I'll take it up there for you, boss.
Coworker #2: I bet he would.
Coworker #3, oblivious to the sarcasm: I did yesterday.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: K/Y

Sales rep on phone: No, I don't speak Hindi. Why the fuck would I speak Hindi? (pause) You live in Texas, who the fuck speaks Hindi there?

Fort Mill, South Carolina

IT guy to secretary: I'm sure I'll make some tweaks. I'm a tweaker. Not in the snorting-powder kind of way; just in the red-pen kind of way…

Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Bitter Barren Spinster

CSR on phone with customer: Do you like rabbits? I have a bunny at home, yeah. I think people call it a bunny when it's like a pet, and a rabbit would be a wild animal. Although my mother has a wild rabbit as a pet. I think she calls it a rabbit… mine likes hay.

Keene, New Hampshire

Coworker to another: Wait, Bo Derek is a girl?

Madison, Wisconsin

Intern: His head isn't that big in real life. It's like the camera adds 10 pounds to Adam Scott's head.

Austin, Texas