Worker to coworker: Do you want to come to an all-black party on Saturday.
Coworker: Sure.
Worker: Make sure you bring some friends with you.
Coworker: Are you sure? They are all white.
Worker: What?! It's an all-black party as in the color clothes you need to wear!
Havertown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Megan
Overweight employee: Back away from my pizza or I'm going to fucking cut you.
New Milford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Not Hungy Anymore
Assistant to manager: Tim! Stop moving! I'm trying to get a piece.
Bloomington, Illinois
Database admin: Housing… (sigh) I'm going to knife someone.
Washington, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: IT Guy
Hot intern, reading manual: What is DPI? Is that some kind of ice cream?
St. Louis, Missouri
Female accounting assistant to female marketing assistant: Your butt shocked my finger!
Georgia
Equipment meeting leader: Alright, next on the list is the dishwasher. Randy's been taking care of that. Does anyone want to take over or should we just leave his name on there?
Dept. head: Who's Randy?
Scientist #1: Yeah, he took over that job awhile ago.
Scientist #2: Who's Randy?
Scientist #3, whispering: Isn't it funny how everyone's asking “who's Randy?” Isn't that sort of a personal question?
Equipment meeting leader: So, okay. We'll leave his name there. Randy is in charge of the dishwasher.
Dept. head: But who's Randy? (scattered laughter) Two days later…
Research assistant, coming from dishwasher room: Hey, sorry to interrupt but I have a question. Who's Randy?
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: facepalm
Employee #1: My knees are clicking! They hurt!
Employee #2: Maybe you should get cyborg knee implants…
Employee #1: When you say that word, all I think of are those one eyed creatures…
Employee #2: Um… You mean cyclops? Okay…
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Robots have two eyes
Office accountant: Creatives and millennials are going to send me into rehab.
Austin, Texas
Coworker, returning from lunch: If you hear something busting over here, it's probably my pants.
Champaign, Illinois
