Secretary to office: Look people, melanin works.

Atlanta, Georgia

Coworker to another: In California, we are always having fruit juice and parades.

Mississauga
Canadia

Overheard by: Jwa

Female suit: She just makes the process so difficult. I said “well, what does she need?” and she said “she really needs a printer but I already got that. She really needs this, but I already got that.” Everything she said she needed, she said “but I already got that.” So what am I supposed to do for her?

Florida

Overheard by: ISPgypsy

Attorney: Ow, my back! It feels like I have a knife in my back!
Secretary: Oh… so that's where I left it!

Durango, Colorado

COO: If I didn't look at the positive throughout my life I'd currently be sitting under a bridge with a bottle of mad dog.

Newton
Massachusetts

Male clerk: The water you boiled is ready. The kettle went off a couple minutes ago.
Female clerk: Oh, that's okay. It has to cool. My tea packet has told me that the water has to be at 100 degrees.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: J. Oliver

Coworker #1: When I die, I definitely want to be cremated. I don't want to wake up in a box!
Coworker #2: So you want to wake up on fire?

Hilton Head, South Carolina

Swedish girl: Danish people have the worst accent. It's almost as bad as Finnish.

London
England

Overheard by: Clare

Sales manager on phone: Hey, can you send me a better scan of your drivers' license? I can't see the picture in this, it's just black. (pause) Yes, I know you're black, but I'm sure you have eyes and a nose and a mouth, and I would love to see what those look like.

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Manager: We should sell you on the black market.
Ditzy carhop: Is that black people?

Festus, Missouri